The written word is a powerful tool, capable of conveying complex ideas, evoking strong emotions, and building essential connections. Yet, even the most profound thoughts can stumble and fall flat when presented through awkward phrasing. That clunky sentence, that jarring transition, that word choice that just doesn’t quite fit – these are the silent saboteurs of clarity and impact. They distract the reader, muddy the message, and ultimately diminish the power of your prose.
Awkward phrasing isn’t merely a stylistic flaw; it’s a communication barrier. It forces your audience to work harder, deciphering meaning rather than absorbing it effortlessly. This guide delves deep into the root causes of awkwardness and provides a definitive, actionable framework to banish it from your writing. We’re not talking about minor tweaks; we’re dissecting the anatomy of awkwardness to build a robust arsenal of strategies that will transform your prose into a clear, concise, and compelling vehicle for your ideas.
The Anatomy of Awkwardness: Deconstructing the Problem
Before we can effectively eliminate awkward phrasing, we must first understand what constitutes it. Awkwardness often stems from a disconnect between the writer’s intent and the reader’s experience. It’s the linguistic equivalent of a misstep – a stumble in flow, rhythm, or logic.
1. The Cluttered Sentence: Too Many Words, Too Little Impact
One of the most common culprits of awkward phrasing is verbosity. When a sentence is overloaded with unnecessary words, redundant phrases, or inflated vocabulary, it becomes cumbersome and difficult to process. The reader gets lost in the linguistic maze.
Example of Awkward: “Due to the fact that the company underwent a significant amount of restructuring efforts, the previously established organizational hierarchy was rendered largely ineffective and obsolete for all intents and purposes.”
Why it’s Awkward:
* “Due to the fact that” can be replaced by “Because” or “Since.”
* “Significant amount of restructuring efforts” implies redundancy. “Restructuring” is sufficient.
* “Previously established” is often implied by “organizational hierarchy.”
* “Rendered largely ineffective and obsolete for all intents and purposes” is highly redundant and overly wordy. “Became ineffective” or “was obsolete” suffices.
How to Fix: Identify and ruthlessly cut redundant words and phrases. Aim for precision and conciseness.
Fixed Example: “Because the company restructured, the organizational hierarchy became ineffective.”
2. Mismatched Subjects and Verbs: The Logic Lapses
Awkwardness often arises when the subject of a sentence doesn’t logically align with its verb, or when the connection between elements feels forced. This can lead to passive constructions, nominalizations, and convoluted statements.
Passive Voice Overuse: While passive voice has its place (e.g., when the actor is unknown or unimportant), its overuse can create a detached, formal, and often clumsy tone.
Example of Awkward (Passive): “The decision was made by the committee to postpone the meeting until Thursday of next week.”
Why it’s Awkward: The focus is on the action (“was made”) rather than the actor (“the committee”). It’s less direct.
How to Fix: Prioritize active voice. Identify the actor and make them the subject of your sentence.
Fixed Example: “The committee decided to postpone the meeting until next Thursday.”
Nominalizations (Turning Verbs into Nouns): This is a sneaky culprit. When you turn a strong verb into a noun, you often have to add more words to express the same action, extending the sentence unnecessarily.
Example of Awkward (Nominalization): “There was an implementation of the new policy by the enthusiastic team members.”
Why it’s Awkward: “Implementation” is a noun derived from “implement.” It requires “there was an” and “by the.”
How to Fix: Revert nominalizations back to their stronger verb forms.
Fixed Example: “The enthusiastic team members implemented the new policy.”
3. Tangled Modifiers: The Misplaced Description
Modifiers (adjectives, adverbs, phrases, clauses) add detail and nuance. However, when they are placed incorrectly, they can create ambiguity, confusion, and unintentionally humorous interpretations. This often happens with dangling modifiers or misplaced modifiers.
Dangling Modifier: A modifier that doesn’t clearly or logically connect to the word it’s supposed to modify. The subject of the sentence often isn’t the one performing the action implied by the modifier.
Example of Awkward (Dangling): “Having finished the report, the coffee machine was the next stop.”
Why it’s Awkward: It implies the coffee machine finished the report.
How to Fix: Ensure the subject performing the action of the modifier is clearly stated immediately after the modifier.
Fixed Example: “Having finished the report, I went to the coffee machine.”
Misplaced Modifier: A modifier that is placed so far from the word it describes that it modifies another word, leading to a different meaning.
Example of Awkward (Misplaced): “He sold the car to his friend with the loud muffler.”
Why it’s Awkward: It sounds like the friend has the loud muffler, not the car.
How to Fix: Place modifiers as close as possible to the words they modify.
Fixed Example: “He sold the car with the loud muffler to his friend.”
4. Vague and Abstract Language: The Fuzzy Message
Sometimes, awkwardness isn’t about structural errors, but about a lack of specificity. Vague nouns, weak verbs, and abstract concepts can make your writing feel generic, uninspired, and difficult to grasp. The reader is left guessing at your meaning.
Example of Awkward (Vague): “The situation involved many things that made it complicated for everyone.”
Why it’s Awkward: “Many things” and “complicated for everyone” are incredibly generic. What things? How complicated? For whom specifically?
How to Fix: Replace vague terms with concrete, specific details. Use strong, active verbs instead of weak ones.
Fixed Example: “The budget cuts created severe financial strain for every department, leading to widespread layoffs.”
Strategic Approaches to Eliminate Awkward Phrasing
Now that we understand the common forms of awkwardness, let’s explore robust strategies for identifying and eradicating them from your writing.
Strategy 1: Read Aloud – The Auditory Audit
Your ears are powerful editors. What looks acceptable on the page can sound clunky and unnatural when spoken. Reading your writing aloud forces you to confront the rhythm, flow, and cadence of your sentences.
How it Works:
* Identify Stumbling Blocks: You’ll naturally pause, stumble, or rephrase sentences that are awkward. These are your red flags.
* Uncover Redundancy: Words and phrases that seem necessary when typing often feel redundant and slow when spoken aloud.
* Detect Unnatural Phrasing: Conversational language tends to be more direct and less formal. Reading aloud helps you identify overly stiff or convoluted constructions.
Actionable Steps:
1. Read your entire piece from start to finish. Don’t just skim. Read it as if you were delivering a speech.
2. Pay attention to where your breath catches or where you naturally want to rephrase a sentence. Mark these spots.
3. Listen for repeated words or phrases that could be varied or condensed.
4. Record yourself reading. Playing it back can offer a surprisingly objective perspective. You’ll hear things you missed in real-time.
Example:
* Initial Draft (mental read): “It is important to remember that the implementation of the new procedures will necessitate a significant adjustment period for all personnel involved.”
* Read Aloud (you stumble): “It is important to remember that… the implementation… of the new procedures… will necessitate… a significant adjustment period… for all personnel involved.” (You hear the clunkiness, the long phrases.)
- Revised (after auditory audit): “Implementing the new procedures will require a significant adjustment for all personnel.” (Much smoother and more concise.)
Strategy 2: Condense and Consolidate – The Power of Brevity
Awkwardness often thrives in excess. Many sentences can be significantly streamlined by combining ideas, eliminating unnecessary prepositions, and choosing stronger, more precise vocabulary.
Actionable Steps:
1. Reduce Prepositional Phrases: Look for sequences of “of the,” “in the,” “on behalf of,” etc. Often, these can be rephrased more directly.
**Example:** "The results *of the investigation of the cause of the problem* were inconclusive."
**Fix:** "The investigation's results for the problem's cause were inconclusive." (Still a bit wordy, but better)
**Better Fix:** "The investigation into the problem's cause yielded inconclusive results."
- Replace Weak Verbs with Strong Single Verbs: Words like “make,” “have,” “get,” “do,” “be” (especially “is,” “was,” “were”) often pair with nouns that could be verbs themselves.
Example: “He made a decision to leave.”
Fix: “He decided to leave.”Example: “The team has a requirement for more resources.”
Fix: “The team requires more resources.” -
Eliminate Redundant Adverbs and Adjectives: Words like “very,” “really,” “basically,” “actually,” “completely,” “totally” often add little meaning and can be removed or replaced with a more precise word.
Example: “She was very incredibly happy.”
Fix: “She was ecstatic.”Example: “The project was totally completely finished.”
Fix: “The project was finished.” -
Combine Short, Choppy Sentences: If you have a string of short, declarative sentences, consider whether they can be combined using conjunctions, relative clauses, or participial phrases to improve flow.
Example: “The dog barked. It was a loud bark. It woke up the neighbors.”
Fix: “The dog’s loud bark woke up the neighbors.”
Strategy 3: Vary Sentence Structure and Length
Monotony breeds awkwardness. A series of sentences all starting the same way, or all of the same length, creates a predictable, unengaging rhythm that can feel stilted.
Actionable Steps:
1. Start Sentences Differently: Avoid beginning every sentence with “The,” “It is,” or “There is/are.” Use adverbs, participial phrases, or subordinate clauses to vary openings.
**Example (Monotonous):** "The meeting began at 9 AM. The agenda was distributed prior. The discussion focused on Q3 goals. The team made progress."
**Fix (Varied):** "Beginning at 9 AM, the meeting quickly reviewed the distributed agenda. Discussion primarily focused on Q3 goals and the team made significant progress."
- Mix Short, Medium, and Long Sentences:
- Short sentences create impact and emphasize points.
- Medium sentences provide clarity and move the narrative forward.
- Longer sentences (when well-constructed) can add detail, build complexity, and create a more sophisticated flow.
Example (Awkwardly Uniform): “The rain fell. It was heavy. The streets flooded. Traffic stopped. People stayed inside.”
Fix (Varied): “The heavy rain fell relentlessly, quickly flooding the streets. As a result, traffic ground to a halt, forcing people to remain indoors.” -
Invert Sentence Structure Occasionally: While primary subject-verb-object is often best, an occasional inversion can add emphasis or create a more poetic feel, as long as it doesn’t sound forced.
Example (Standard): “I have never seen such a beautiful sunset.”
Fix (Inverted): “Never have I seen such a beautiful sunset.” (Use sparingly!)
Strategy 4: Clarify Pronoun References
Ambiguous pronoun references are a major source of awkwardness and confusion. If the reader has to pause and guess what “it,” “they,” or “this” refers to, your flow is broken.
Actionable Steps:
1. Ensure Clear Antecedents: Every pronoun must clearly refer to a specific noun (its antecedent) that appears before it.
**Example of Awkward:** "When the dog chased the cat, it ran up a tree."
**Why it's Awkward:** Did the dog or the cat run up the tree?
**Fix:** "When the dog chased the cat, the cat ran up a tree."
**Alternative Fix:** "The dog chased the cat, which then ran up a tree."
- Avoid Vague ‘This,’ ‘That,’ ‘Which,’ ‘It’: When “this” or “that” refers to an entire idea or previous sentence, consider adding a noun immediately after it to make the reference clear.
Example of Awkward: “The company announced massive layoffs, which caused widespread panic.”
Why it’s Awkward: “Which” refers to the whole announcement, but is placed directly next to “layoffs,” creating a slight ambiguity or a moment’s pause.
Fix: “The company announced massive layoffs. This news caused widespread panic.”
Alternative Fix: “The company’s announcement of massive layoffs caused widespread panic.” -
Be Mindful of Possessive Pronouns: Ensure possessive forms are used correctly and clearly.
Example of Awkward: “The scientist’s discovery was groundbreaking; their research had been ongoing for decades.”
Why it’s Awkward: “Their” implies multiple scientists, but “scientist’s” is singular.
Fix: “The scientist’s discovery was groundbreaking; his/her research had been ongoing for decades.” (Or restructure to avoid the singular possessive if gender is unknown or irrelevant: “The groundbreaking discovery by the scientist stemmed from decades of research.”)
Strategy 5: Eliminate Jargon and Buzzwords (Unless Absolutely Necessary)
Industry-specific jargon and overused buzzwords can alienate readers who aren’t familiar with your niche. Even for those who are, they often obscure meaning and can sound pretentious or faddish.
Actionable Steps:
1. Define or Rephrase: If you must use a technical term, define it clearly the first time it appears, or rephrase it in plain language.
2. Question Every Buzzword: Before using a buzzword (e.g., “synergy,” “leverage,” “holistic,” “paradigm shift,” “disrupt”), ask yourself:
* Does it convey a precise meaning that a simpler word cannot?
* Will every reader understand it?
* Does it make my writing clearer or just sound impressive (to me)?
**Example of Awkward (Jargon/Buzzword-laden):** "We need to operationalize the strategic imperative to drive scalable solutions and optimize our core competencies, facilitating synergistic outcomes across all verticals."
**Why it's Awkward:** This is a classic example of corporate-speak that sounds important but says very little.
**Fix (Plain Language):** "We need to put our new strategy into action to create flexible solutions that improve our main strengths, leading to better collaboration across all departments."
Strategy 6: Refine Word Choice – Precision and Impact
Sloppy word choice is a subtle but potent source of awkwardness. It’s about choosing the right word, not just a word. This includes avoiding clichés, vague descriptors, and confusing homonyms.
Actionable Steps:
1. Replace Weak Nouns and Verbs with Strong Ones:
* “Go” could be “stride,” “rush,” “saunter,” “dash.”
* “Say” could be “declare,” “whisper,” “mutter,” “proclaim.”
* “Thing” could be “element,” “component,” “factor,” “device.”
**Example (Weak):** "He *went fast* to the house."
**Fix (Strong):** "He *sprinted* to the house."
- Avoid Clichés: Overused expressions (e.g., “think outside the box,” “low-hanging fruit,” “at the end of the day,” “in a nutshell”) signal a lack of original thought and can make your writing feel tired.
Example (Cliché): “At the end of the day, it’s about hitting the ground running.”
Fix (Direct): “Ultimately, quick action is essential.” -
Beware of Homonyms/Homophones: Words that sound alike but have different meanings (e.g., “affect/effect,” “their/there/they’re,” “to/too/two,” “its/it’s,” “compliment/complement”). A simple typo here can create jarring awkwardness.
Example (Homonym Error): “The principle reason for the delay was weather.”
Fix: “The principal reason for the delay was weather.” -
Prefer Concrete over Abstract: When describing something, try to appeal to the senses. Instead of “positive attributes,” say “smooth finish” or “intuitive interface.”
Example (Abstract): “The product had good qualities.”
Fix (Concrete): “The product featured a crisp display and responsive controls.”
Strategy 7: Employ Parallelism and Balanced Structures
Parallelism means using the same grammatical structure for elements that are similar in function or meaning. Lack of parallelism creates a jarring, unbalanced rhythm that sounds awkward.
Actionable Steps:
1. Lists: Ensure all items in a list follow the same grammatical pattern (e.g., all nouns, all verbs, all gerunds, all infinitive phrases).
**Example of Awkward (Non-parallel list):** "She enjoys hiking, to swim, and reading books."
**Fix:** "She enjoys hiking, swimming, and reading books." (All gerunds)
**Alternative Fix:** "She enjoys to hike, to swim, and to read." (All infinitives)
- Paired Elements: When connecting two clauses or phrases with conjunctions like “and,” “but,” “or,” ensure they are grammatically similar.
Example of Awkward (Non-parallel pairs): “He was known for his sharp wit and that he worked incredibly hard.”
Fix: “He was known for his sharp wit and incredible work ethic.” (Both noun phrases) -
Comparisons: Ensure that the items being compared are grammatically parallel.
Example of Awkward (Non-parallel comparison): “Running is better than to cycle.”
Fix: “Running is better than cycling.”
Strategy 8: Check for Inconsistencies in Tone and Register
Awkwardness isn’t always about grammatical errors; sometimes it’s about a sudden shift in tone or formality. Mixing overly formal language with slang, or vice-versa, can create a jarring effect.
Actionable Steps:
1. Define Your Audience and Purpose: Before you start writing, determine who you are writing for and what you want to achieve. This will dictate your tone and register.
2. Maintain Consistency: Once you establish a tone (e.g., formal, informal, academic, persuasive, conversational), stick to it throughout your piece.
**Example of Awkward (Tone Shift):** "The archaeological discovery yielded significant insights, presenting a veritable treasure trove of data. Plus, it was super cool, like, totally mind-blowing."
**Why it's Awkward:** The first sentence is academic and formal; the second is highly informal slang.
**Fix (Consistent Formal):** "The archaeological discovery yielded significant insights, presenting a veritable treasure trove of data. The findings were truly groundbreaking."
**Fix (Consistent Informal):** "Wow, this archaeological find was super cool! It was, like, totally mind-blowing with all that new info."
Strategy 9: Use Transitions Effectively
Smooth transitions are the bridges between your ideas. Without them, your writing feels disjointed, abrupt, and ultimately awkward. They guide the reader effortlessly from one point to the next.
Actionable Steps:
1. Identify Logical Connections: Understand how your ideas relate to each other (e.g., cause/effect, contrast, addition, sequence, example).
2. Employ Transitional Words and Phrases:
* **Addition:** *furthermore, moreover, in addition, also, besides, similarly*
* **Contrast:** *however, nevertheless, on the other hand, conversely, in contrast, despite*
* **Cause/Effect:** *therefore, thus, consequently, as a result, because, since*
* **Example:** *for example, for instance, specifically, to illustrate*
* **Sequence:** *first, next, then, finally, subsequently, concurrently*
* **Emphasis:** *indeed, in fact, certainly, primarily*
* **Summary:** *in conclusion, in summary, to sum up, ultimately*
**Example of Awkward (Abrupt Transition):** "The company launched a new product. Sales plummeted. Employees were laid off."
**Why it's Awkward:** Each sentence is a separate thought without a clear link.
**Fix (Smooth Transitions):** "The company launched a new product; however, sales plummeted. Consequently, many employees were laid off."
- Vary Transition Types: Don’t overuse the same transitional words. Sometimes, a well-placed pronoun or a rephrased idea can serve as a transition.
The Revision Process: Your Final Frontier Against Awkwardness
Eliminating awkward phrasing is rarely a first-draft achievement. It’s a meticulous process of revision, editing, and refinement.
Step 1: Initial Brain Dump – Get Your Ideas Down
Don’t censor yourself during the first pass. Focus on getting your ideas onto the page. Awkward phrasing is a problem for later.
Step 2: Global Revision – Structure and Idea Flow
Before wordsmithing, ensure your overall argument is sound, your sections flow logically, and your main points are clear. Awkwardness can sometimes be a symptom of a deeper structural problem.
Step 3: Sentence-Level Editing – The Awkwardness Hunt
This is where you apply the strategies discussed above. Go through your writing sentence by sentence, deliberately searching for the common pitfalls.
- Highlight Suspect Sentences: Use a colorful highlighter (physical or digital) for any sentence that feels clunky, confusing, or too long.
- Focus on One Type of Awkwardness at a Time: If you struggle with passive voice, do a pass just looking for “is,” “was,” “were” constructions. Then do a pass for modifiers.
- Print It Out: Reading on paper often reveals errors you miss on screen.
- Use the ‘Magnifying Glass’ Method: Take one paragraph and dissect every sentence. Can you cut words? Clarify phrases? Improve flow?
Step 4: Seek External Feedback
A fresh pair of eyes can spot awkward phrasing you’ve become blind to. Ask a trusted friend, colleague, or professional editor to review your work. Specify that you are looking for clarity, conciseness, and natural flow.
Step 5: Take a Break
After intense editing, stepping away from your writing for a few hours or even a day can give you a fresh perspective. You’ll return with renewed clarity and spot errors more easily.
Conclusion
Eliminating awkward phrasing isn’t about rigid rules; it’s about cultivating an ear for rhythm, an eye for precision, and a relentless commitment to clarity. It’s a skill honed through deliberate practice, a deep understanding of language’s nuances, and a willingness to scrutinize every word. By deconstructing the common culprits of awkwardness and armed with these actionable strategies—from reading aloud and condensing prose to diversifying sentence structures and refining word choice—you can transform your writing. This isn’t just about making your sentences sound better; it’s about making your message resonate more powerfully, ensuring your words are not just read, but truly understood and felt. Master these techniques, and your prose will become a clear, compelling force, free from the shackles of awkwardness.