How to Fix Awkward Phrases
We’ve all been there. You reread an email, glance over a report, or mentally replay a conversation, and a shiver of unease trickles down your spine. A word feels off. A sentence meanders. A thought gets tangled in a thicket of unnecessary verbiage. You pinpoint it: an awkward phrase. It trips the reader, derails the flow, and muddies your otherwise brilliant message. Awkward phrases aren’t just stylistic blips; they’re communication roadblocks. They erode clarity, diminish impact, and can even subtly undermine your credibility.
This isn’t about mere grammar-checking, though grammar plays its part. This is a deep dive into the anatomy of awkwardness within language, an exploration of its root causes, and a definitive playbook for surgically excising it. We’ll move beyond superficial edits to reveal the underlying principles that make communication truly effective – clear, concise, and compelling. Prepare to transform your writing and speaking from merely intelligible to genuinely impressive.
Understanding the Anatomy of Awkwardness: Why Phrases Go Rogue
Before we can fix awkward phrases, we must understand why they become awkward in the first place. This isn’t a random linguistic phenomenon; it’s a symptom of deeper issues in thought process, word choice, and sentence construction.
The Clotting Agent: Overuse of Nominalizations (Nounification)
One of the most insidious sources of awkwardness is the transformation of verbs or adjectives into nouns, often ending in -tion, -ment, -ance, -ence, -ing (when used as a noun), etc. This is called nominalization or nounification. While sometimes necessary, excessive nominalization clogs sentences, making them abstract and ponderous. It replaces direct action with static concepts.
Why it’s awkward:
* It buries the actor and the action.
* It often requires more words to convey a simple idea.
* It feels bureaucratic and impersonal.
Example 1: Verb to Noun
* Awkward: “We need to make a determination of the best course of action.”
* Fixed: “We need to determine the best course of action.” (Direct, active)
Example 2: Adjective to Noun
* Awkward: “The utilization of the new software improved efficiency.”
* Fixed: “Using the new software improved efficiency.” (Or: “The new software improved operations.”)
Example 3: Buried Action
* Awkward: “His decision was for the implementation of the new policy.”
* Fixed: “He decided to implement the new policy.” (Clear actor, clear action)
Actionable Fix: Identify words ending in common nominalizing suffixes. Can you replace the noun with a stronger verb or adjective? Can you make the sentence more active? Often, if you see a vague noun like “consideration,” “evaluation,” or “discussion,” you can usually simplify.
The Scenic Route: Excessive Prepositional Phrases
Prepositional phrases (e.g., “in the regard of,” “on the basis of,” “with reference to”) are essential components of language. However, when strung together excessively, they act like linguistic speed bumps, forcing the reader to navigate a complex series of relationships rather than absorbing a direct statement.
Why it’s awkward:
* They add word count without adding proportional meaning.
* They obscure the core message.
* They often indicate overthinking or an attempt to sound academic.
Example 1: Redundant Prepositions
* Awkward: “He spoke in a manner reflective of his deep understanding of the subject matter.”
* Fixed: “He spoke reflectively of his deep understanding of the subject.” (Or: “He spoke knowledgeably about the subject.”)
Example 2: Bureaucratic Fillers
* Awkward: “In the event of a system failure, please inform the team at the earliest convenience.”
* Fixed: “If the system fails, please inform the team immediately.”
Example 3: Series of Prepositions
* Awkward: “The analysis of the data in relation to the trends in the market was insightful.”
* Fixed: “The analysis of market data trends was insightful.” (Or simpler: “Analyzing market data trends was insightful.”)
Actionable Fix: Whenever you see a chain of prepositions, especially lengthy ones (e.g., “in accordance with,” “due to the fact that”), challenge them. Can you replace the entire phrase with one or two powerful words? Can you restructure the sentence to eliminate the need for the phrase? Ask: “What is the core relationship being described?”
The Wordy Wanderer: Redundancy and Tautology
This category involves using more words than necessary to convey a thought, often repeating ideas or using words whose meanings overlap. It’s a hallmark of unedited prose.
Why it’s awkward:
* It wastes the reader’s time and attention.
* It makes you sound unsure or verbose.
* It diminishes the impact of your statement.
Example 1: Pleonasm (Implicit Redundancy)
* Awkward: “He decided to personally inspect the site himself.” (If he inspected it, it was inherently personal and by himself.)
* Fixed: “He decided to inspect the site.”
Example 2: Redundant Modifiers
* Awkward: “The potential possibility of failure is high.” (If it’s a possibility, it’s inherently potential.)
* Fixed: “The possibility of failure is high.”
* Other common culprits: basic fundamentals, sudden crisis, future plans, completely destroyed, past history, true facts.
Example 3: Tautology (Explicit Repetition)
* Awkward: “We need an initial beginning point.”
* Fixed: “We need a starting point.”
Actionable Fix: Ruthlessly cut any word that does not add new meaning. Read your sentences aloud and listen for words that feel superfluous. If removing a word doesn’t change the meaning, remove the word.
The Ghost in the Machine: Vague and Impersonal Language
Awkwardness often arises when the subject and action are unclear, or when the language becomes overly formal and detached, using passive voice unnecessarily or relying on abstract nouns without concrete examples.
Why it’s awkward:
* It creates a sense of detachment.
* It can obscure responsibility.
* It makes the message less memorable and impactful.
Example 1: Excessive Passive Voice
* Awkward: “The decision was made by the committee that the project should be halted.” (Who made the decision? Who should halt it?)
* Fixed: “The committee decided to halt the project.” (Clear actor, clear action)
Example 2: Euphemisms and Jargon
* Awkward: “We need to optimize our synergistic verticals for enhanced throughput.”
* Fixed: “We need to improve cooperation between departments to increase output.” (Or better, be specific about what those “verticals” are and what “throughput” means).
Example 3: Impersonal Constructions
* Awkward: “It is believed that this approach will yield positive results.” (Who believes it?)
* Fixed: “We believe this approach will yield positive results.” (Or: “This approach should yield positive results.”)
Actionable Fix: Always strive for clarity in subject and action. Ask “Who is doing what?” If your sentence doesn’t clearly answer that, revise it. Replace vague words with concrete ones. Challenge jargon.
The Disjointed Dance: Illogical Sequencing & Mismatched Elements
Sometimes, the individual words aren’t the problem, but their arrangement creates a jarring, illogical flow. This can manifest as misplaced modifiers, unclear antecedents, or a lack of parallel structure.
Why it’s awkward:
* It confuses the reader about what modifies what.
* It breaks the expected rhythm and balance of language.
* It forces the reader to re-read and re-interpret.
Example 1: Misplaced Modifiers
* Awkward: “He spotted a dog wearing a hat with a telescope.” (Was the hat wearing a telescope?)
* Fixed: “He spotted a dog with a telescope wearing a hat.” (Or, better: “Wearing a hat, he spotted a dog with a telescope.”)
Example 2: Unclear Antecedents
* Awkward: “The manager told the intern she had made a mistake.” (Who made the mistake, the manager or the intern?)
* Fixed: “The manager admitted to the intern that she (the manager) had made a mistake.” (Or: “The manager told the intern that she, the intern, had made a mistake.”)
Example 3: Lack of Parallel Structure
* Awkward: “The team was responsible for planning, executing, and the analysis of the results.”
* Fixed: “The team was responsible for planning, executing, and analyzing the results.” (Consistent grammatical form)
Actionable Fix: Read sentences carefully, paying attention to what each phrase or clause is trying to describe. Ensure that modifiers are placed as close as possible to the words they modify. Check for consistent grammatical form when listing items or ideas.
The Surgical Toolkit: Actionable Strategies for Phrasing Finesse
Now that we’ve diagnosed the common ailments of awkward phrasing, let’s equip you with the specific tools to perform linguistic surgery. These aren’t just one-off fixes; they are habits to cultivate for consistently clear and impactful communication.
Strategy 1: Embrace the Power of Verbs – The Engine of Clarity
Verbs are the workhorses of language. Strong, precise verbs inject energy and clarity into your sentences, replacing flabby verb-noun combinations or weak “to be” verbs.
How to implement:
1. Hunt for “to be” verbs (is, am, are, was, were, be, being, been): While not inherently bad, their overuse often signals a static sentence that could be made more dynamic.
* Awkward: “The reason is that there is a problem with the implementation of the new policy.”
* Fixed: “A problem hinders the policy’s implementation.” (Or: “The new policy faces implementation problems.”)
2. Replace nominalizations with their verb forms: As discussed, this is a primary driver of awkwardness.
* Awkward: “We need to give consideration to the team’s suggestion.”
* Fixed: “We need to consider the team’s suggestion.” (Or: “We need to consider what the team suggested.”)
3. Choose precise verbs over vague ones: Avoid verbs like “make,” “get,” “do,” “have” when a stronger, more specific verb exists.
* Awkward: “We need to make improvements to the process.”
* Fixed: “We need to improve the process.” (Or: “We need to streamline/refine/overhaul the process.”)
Concrete Example:
* Awkward: “There was a realization on the part of management that a solution would need to be brought into being.” (Nominalization, weak “to be” verb, verbose)
* Fixed: “Management realized they needed to create a solution.” (Stronger verbs, direct)
Strategy 2: Condense and Consolidate – The Art of Conciseness
Unnecessary words dilute meaning. Learning to condense phrases is paramount to eliminating awkwardness and enhancing readability. Every word should earn its place.
How to implement:
1. Eliminate redundant pairs and unnecessary adverbs:
* Awkward: “The general consensus was that the situation was absolutely essential.”
* Fixed: “The consensus was that the situation was essential.”
* Awkward: “He briefly summarized the entire report.” (Summarizing is inherently brief; a report is inherently entire.)
* Fixed: “He summarized the report.”
2. Replace lengthy phrases with single words or shorter constructions:
* “in order to” becomes “to”
* “due to the fact that” becomes “because” or “since”
* “at this point in time” becomes “now”
* “with the exception of” becomes “except”
* “in the event that” becomes “if”
* “on a regular basis” becomes “regularly”
* “as a general rule” becomes “generally”
3. Combine sentences or clauses where appropriate: Sometimes, two short, choppy sentences can be combined into one fluid, concise statement, provided it doesn’t become overly complex.
Concrete Example:
* Awkward: “At the end of the day, in consideration of the fact that we are now currently facing a major crisis situation, it is of vital importance that we expeditiously move forward.” (Wordy phrases, redundancies)
* Fixed: “Given the current crisis, we must act quickly.” (Concise, direct, impactful)
Strategy 3: Prioritize Clarity and Directness – The Straight Line to Meaning
Awkwardness often stems from fear – fear of being too blunt, too simple, or not sounding “smart” enough. Overcoming this involves embracing direct, unambiguous language.
How to implement:
1. Prefer active voice: When the actor is known and relevant, active voice is typically more direct and impactful.
* Awkward: “The report was reviewed by the committee.” (Passive, less direct)
* Fixed: “The committee reviewed the report.” (Active, clear actor)
2. Avoid jargon and buzzwords: Unless your audience is exclusively in your niche and expects the jargon, avoid it. Use plain language.
* Awkward: “We need to leverage our synergies to optimize our core competencies.”
* Fixed: “We need to work together effectively to improve our key strengths.” (Or, better, specify what those strengths are).
3. Be specific, not vague: Ambiguity begets awkwardness.
* Awkward: “There are some issues we need to address.”
* Fixed: “We need to resolve the budget deficit.” (Specific issue, specific action)
Concrete Example:
* Awkward: “It is recommended that consideration be given to the implementation of revised protocols.” (Passive, impersonal, jargon-laden)
* Fixed: “We recommend implementing revised protocols.” (Active, direct, specific)
Strategy 4: Reorder and Restructure – The Blueprint of Flow
Sometimes, the individual words are fine, but their order or the overall sentence structure creates awkwardness. This is where restructuring comes into play.
How to implement:
1. Place modifiers close to what they modify: Avoid “dangling” or “misplaced” modifiers.
* Awkward: “He found the solution working late into the night.” (Was the solution working late?)
* Fixed: “Working late into the night, he found the solution.”
2. Ensure parallel structure: For lists or comparisons, ensure consistent grammatical form.
* Awkward: “She enjoys running, to swim, and baking cakes.”
* Fixed: “She enjoys running, swimming, and baking cakes.” (All gerunds)
3. Break long sentences into shorter ones: This can prevent run-on sentences and improve readability.
* Awkward: “The committee, recognizing the complexity of the task and the necessity for immediate action, decided, after much deliberation and input from various stakeholders, to approve the emergency funding, prioritizing swift execution over exhaustive preliminary analysis, which was a significant departure from their usual operating procedures.”
* Fixed: “Recognizing the task’s complexity and the need for immediate action, the committee deliberated extensively. They sought input from various stakeholders. Ultimately, they approved emergency funding, prioritizing swift execution over exhaustive preliminary analysis. This decision marked a significant departure from their usual operating procedures.” (Breaks into manageable chunks)
4. Vary sentence openers: Starting too many sentences with “The” or with a prepositional phrase can create monotony and awkwardness.
Concrete Example:
* Awkward: “A new policy was developed regarding employee onboarding which emphasizes mentorship.” (Modifier far from what it modifies)
* Fixed: “A new employee onboarding policy was developed that emphasizes mentorship.” (Or: “A new policy emphasizing mentorship was developed for employee onboarding.”)
Strategy 5: Read Aloud and Listen – The Auditory Litmus Test
The human ear is surprisingly adept at identifying awkwardness. When you read silently, your brain often “corrects” minor issues. Reading aloud forces you to confront the actual flow and rhythm.
How to implement:
1. Read your writing out loud, slowly and deliberately: Don’t skim. Listen for places where you stumble, where your breath catches, or where the rhythm feels off.
2. Listen for unnatural phrasing: Does it sound like natural human speech? Or does it sound like a robot translating an overly formal document?
3. Identify areas where you’d rephrase it if speaking: If you wouldn’t say it that way, you probably shouldn’t write it that way.
4. Have someone else read it aloud: A fresh pair of ears can catch what yours might miss.
Concrete Example:
* Read this aloud: “The current scenario, by virtue of its inherently complex nature, necessitates the immediate engagement of all relevant personnel for the purpose of problem resolution.”
* Notice how clunky and labored it sounds compared to: “The current complex situation requires everyone to immediately engage in problem-solving.”
Strategy 6: The “So What?” and “Why?” Test – Probing for Purpose
Awkwardness sometimes isn’t just about poor word choice, but a lack of clarity in the underlying thought. Asking “So what?” and “Why?” helps you get to the core message.
How to implement:
1. After writing a sentence, ask “So what?” and “Why did I write that?”: If you can’t articulate a clear answer, the sentence might be superfluous or poorly structured.
2. Challenge every word’s contribution: Does this word add essential meaning? Does it clarify? Does it strengthen? If not, cut it.
3. Identify the core message of each paragraph/section: If your sentences are not directly contributing to that core message, they might be generating awkward clutter.
Concrete Example:
* Awkward: “It has been determined by consensus among the departmental heads that the trajectory of our strategic initiatives warrants a re-evaluation, primarily influenced by shifting market dynamics and the imperative for sustained profitability within the competitive landscape.”
* Asking “So what?” and “Why?”: What does this mean? Departments agreed to review strategy. Why? Due to market changes and a need for profit.
* Fixed: “Department heads unanimously agreed to re-evaluate our strategic initiatives. This decision stems from shifting market dynamics and the imperative for sustained profitability within a competitive landscape.” (More direct, but still a bit formal. Even better: “Department heads agreed to re-evaluate our strategy. Market changes and the need for sustained profit demand it.”)
Conclusion: The Pursuit of Eloquent Simplicity
Fixing awkward phrases isn’t about rigid rules; it’s about cultivating an ear for clarity, precision, and natural flow. It’s about respecting your reader’s time and attention. By understanding the root causes of awkwardness – the nominalizations, the excessive prepositions, the redundancies, the vague language, and the disjointed structures – you gain a diagnostic toolkit.
Then, by applying surgical precision with strong verbs, ruthless condensation, directness, thoughtful restructuring, and the invaluable auditory test, you transform your communication. This isn’t just about polish; it’s about power. Clear, concise, and compelling language fosters understanding, builds trust, and ultimately, achieves your intended objective. Embrace the continuous journey towards eloquent simplicity, and watch your words resonate with profound clarity.