How to Fix Awkward Phrasing

We’ve all been there: staring at a perfectly good idea trapped within a poorly constructed sentence. The words are right, but the flow is off. The meaning is there, but the impact is gone. This isn’t just about grammar; it’s about nuance, rhythm, and clarity. Awkward phrasing acts like a tiny, disruptive pebble in the shoe of your reader, turning a smooth stroll into a clumsy stumble. It makes your message less persuasive, your arguments less compelling, and your writing less professional. This comprehensive guide will dissect the anatomy of awkwardness and provide precise, actionable strategies to transform clunky prose into crystal-clear communication.

Understanding the Roots of Awkwardness: More Than Just Bad Grammar

Awkward phrasing isn’t a singular entity; it’s a symptom. Often, it’s a symptom of unclear thought, rushed writing, or an attempt to pack too much information into too little space. Before we dive into solutions, let’s understand its common manifestations. It’s not just broken rules; it’s broken expectations of readability.

Obscured Subject-Verb Relationship: When the reader has to hunt for who is doing what, the sentence becomes a puzzle.
* Awkward: “Consideration of the critical need for financial stability was highly emphasized by the committee.”
* Why it’s awkward: The true subject “committee” is buried, and “consideration” feels like a weak placeholder. The verb “was emphasized” is passive.

Excessive Nominalization (Nounification): Turning verbs and adjectives into nouns, often ending in -tion, -ment, -ance, makes prose heavy and abstract.
* Awkward: “The implementation of the new policy resulted in a significant improvement in customer satisfaction levels.”
* Why it’s awkward: “Implementation” and “improvement” are clunky nouns derived from verbs.

Overuse of Passive Voice: While sometimes necessary, consistent passive voice drains dynamism and can obscure responsibility.
* Awkward: “The decision was made by management regarding the budget cuts.”
* Why it’s awkward: “The decision was made” is indirect.

Dangling Modifiers and Misplaced Phrases: When a descriptive phrase doesn’t clearly relate to the word it’s supposed to modify, confusion reigns.
* Awkward: “Running through the park, the dog barked at the stranger.” (Implies the dog was running through the park even if it wasn’t the subject of the main clause).
* Why it’s awkward: It creates a momentary misinterpretation.

Redundancy and Wordiness: Saying the same thing multiple times or using unnecessary words dilutes impact.
* Awkward: “The truly definitive conclusion was reached after careful consideration and thorough analysis.”
* Why it’s awkward: “Truly definitive” is redundant, as is “careful consideration and thorough analysis.”

Burying the Main Idea: When the core message is surrounded by qualifiers, subordinate clauses, or irrelevant details, it loses prominence.
* Awkward: “Although the weather was inclement, and despite some logistical challenges that arose unexpectedly, the event, which many people had anticipated, mostly proceeded as planned.”
* Why it’s awkward: The main point (“the event mostly proceeded as planned”) is lost in a sea of secondary information.

Strategy 1: Prioritize Clarity – The Cornerstone of Good Writing

Clarity is paramount. If your reader has to reread a sentence to understand it, you’ve failed. Achieving clarity often means simplifying, streamlining, and ensuring your message is direct.

A. Unearthing the True Subject and Action:
Identify who is doing what. This is often the single most powerful way to de-awkward a sentence.

Process: Ask: “Who is performing the action?” and “What is the primary action?”
Awkward: “The establishment of a new communication protocol was undertaken by the team.”
- Analysis: Who acted? The team. What did they do? Established.
Fixed: “The team established a new communication protocol.”
Awkward: “A significant reduction in operational costs was achieved through strategic planning by the department.”
- Analysis: Who acted? The department. What did they do? Reduced costs.
Fixed: “The department strategically planned to reduce operational costs significantly.” or “Strategic planning by the department significantly reduced operational costs.”

B. Transforming Nominalizations Back into Verbs:
Verbs propel sentences forward. Nouns derived from verbs often introduce unnecessary “of” phrases and slow the reader down.

Process: Look for words ending in -tion, -ment, -ance, -ity. Can they be changed back into their active verb form?
Awkward: “The discussion of the proposal led to the formulation of a new strategy.”
- Analysis: “discussion” -> “discuss,” “formulation” -> “formulate.”
Fixed: “Discussing the proposal, they formulated a new strategy.” or “They discussed the proposal and formulated a new strategy.”
Awkward: “There was an examination of the data to arrive at a determination concerning the feasibility of the project.”
- Analysis: “examination” -> “examine,” “determination” -> “determine,” “feasibility” -> “is feasible.”
Fixed: “They examined the data to determine if the project was feasible.”

Strategy 2: Embrace Conciseness – Every Word Earns Its Keep

Wordiness is a common culprit of awkwardness. Eliminating unnecessary words doesn’t mean sacrificing detail; it means presenting information efficiently.

A. Ruthless Redundancy Removal:
Identify words or phrases that repeat information or add no new meaning.

Process: Read sentences aloud. Do any words feel superfluous? Can you say the same thing with fewer words?
Awkward: “The general consensus of opinion among the entire group was that they would proceed forward with the plan.”
- Analysis: “General consensus of opinion” is redundant (“consensus” itself implies general opinion). “Entire group” is often covered by “group.” “Proceed forward” is “proceed.”
Fixed: “The group generally agreed to proceed with the plan.”
Awkward: “It is absolutely essential and vitally important that we take immediate action as soon as possible.”
- Analysis: “Absolutely essential and vitally important” is overkill. “Immediate action as soon as possible” is redundant.
Fixed: “We must act immediately.” or “It’s essential we act immediately.”

B. Pruning Prepositional Phrases and Jargon:
Long strings of “of,” “in,” “for” often indicate opportunities for tighter phrasing. Replace jargon with simpler, clearer terms where appropriate.

Process: Look for sentences with more than two or three prepositions in a row. Can you rephrase using possessives, adjectives, or verbs?
Awkward: “The cost of the acquisition of the new software for the department was a point of contention for the management.”
- Analysis: Too many ‘of’ and ‘for’ phrases.
Fixed: “Management contended the department’s new software acquisition cost.”
Awkward: “In the realm of strategic initiatives, the optimization of resource allocation is a critical component for enhanced organizational efficacy.”
- Analysis: Excessive jargon and abstract nouns.
Fixed: “Strategically, optimizing resource use improves how well the organization works.”

Strategy 3: Enhance Flow and Rhythm – The Music of Language

Good writing has a natural cadence. Awkward phrasing disrupts this, making sentences feel choppy or convoluted.

A. Varying Sentence Structure and Length:
A monotonous rhythm lulls the reader to sleep or makes the prose feel robotic. Mix short, direct sentences with longer, more complex ones.

Process: Read your paragraph aloud. Does it sound like a drumbeat? Do all sentences start the same way?
Awkward: “The meeting concluded swiftly. A decision was made. Attendees then departed. There was no lingering.” (Choppy)
Fixed: “The meeting swiftly concluded with a decision, and attendees promptly departed without lingering.”
Awkward: “The complex nature of the interdependencies between the various global economic systems, which necessitates a coordinated and multilateral approach to address potential instabilities, presents a formidable challenge to policy makers seeking to ensure long-term prosperity and prevent widespread financial collapse.” (Too long, one breath)
Fixed: “Global economic systems are incredibly complex and interdependent. Addressing potential instabilities requires a coordinated, multilateral approach. This presents a formidable challenge for policymakers striving to ensure long-term prosperity and prevent widespread financial collapse.” (Breaking it into digestible chunks)

B. Correcting Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers:
Ensure descriptive phrases clearly and logically modify the intended subject.

Process: Ask: “What is this phrase describing?” If it’s not immediately clear or if it accidentally describes something else, rephrase.
Awkward (Dangling Modifier): “Having finished the report, the coffee tasted especially good.”
- Analysis: “Having finished the report” seems to apply to the coffee.
Fixed: “Having finished the report, I found the coffee tasted especially good.” or “After I finished the report, the coffee tasted especially good.”
Awkward (Misplaced Modifiers): “She served the meal to the guests on paper plates.”
- Analysis: Implies the guests were on paper plates.
Fixed: “She served the meal on paper plates to the guests.” (Move the phrase closer to what it modifies).
Awkward: “He only works on Tuesdays.” (Implies Tuesdays are the only thing he works on. He might work on Tuesdays and nothing else, or he might only work on Tuesdays, and not, say, dance.)
Fixed: “He works only on Tuesdays.” (This clearly states the limitation is to the day.) or “On Tuesdays, he only works.” (This implies he doesn’t do other activities on Tuesdays.) The clearer meaning depends on context.

Strategy 4: Refine Word Choice – Precision and Impact

Sometimes, awkwardness stems from simply using the wrong word or a weak substitute for a stronger one.

A. Replacing Weak Verbs with Strong, Active Ones:
“To be” verbs (is, are, was, were) and verbs like “make,” “do,” “have” can often be replaced with more descriptive, powerful verbs.

Process: Look for weak verb phrases. Can you find a single, more evocative verb?
Awkward: “There was a strong indication of a positive outcome.”
- Analysis: “Was a strong indication” is passive and weak.
Fixed: “The results strongly indicated a positive outcome.”
Awkward: “We need to make a decision on this matter soon.”
- Analysis: “Make a decision” is a common but often replaceable phrase.
Fixed: “We need to decide on this matter soon.”

B. Avoiding Clichés and Jargon Where Simpler Language Suffices:
Clichés are tired; jargon can be exclusionary. While jargon has its place in technical documents, avoid it when you want broader appeal.

Process: If a phrase feels overused or sounds overly academic for your audience, rephrase it simply.
Awkward (Cliché): “At the end of the day, we need to think outside the box to move the needle.”
- Analysis: Overused, unoriginal.
Fixed: “Ultimately, we need innovative solutions to achieve progress.”
Awkward (Jargon): “The firm is committed to leveraging scalable competencies for synergistic global outreach.”
- Analysis: Sounds impressive but means little to a general audience.
Fixed: “The firm aims to use its adaptable skills to expand its international presence collaboratively.”

Strategy 5: The “Read Aloud” Test and Peer Review – Your Final Filters

Writing is often a solitary act, but editing shouldn’t be. Your brain can trick you into seeing what you meant to write, not what you actually wrote.

A. The Power of Reading Aloud:
Your ears pick up rhythm, repetitions, and clunky phrasing that your eyes might miss.

Process: Read your text, sentence by sentence, out loud. Pay attention to where you stumble, where your breath catches, or where a sentence simply doesn’t sound right.
Example (Internal Monologue during read-aloud): ” ‘The completion of the finalization process of the project’… oof, that’s a mouthful. ‘Completion of finalization’? Redundant. ‘Process of the project’? Vague. How can I make this flow better?”
Fix based on read-aloud: “Project finalization.” or “Completing the project.”

B. Seeking a Second Pair of Eyes:
A fresh perspective is invaluable. Someone not intimately familiar with your writing process will spot awkwardness you’ve become blind to.

Process: Ask a trusted colleague, friend, or professional editor to review your work. Specify you’re looking for clarity, flow, and conciseness, not just grammar errors. Ask them where they stumbled or felt confused.
Example (Feedback received): “This sentence, ‘It was observed that a significant quantity of data was acquired by us,’ feels very stiff. Is there a simpler way to say it?”
Fix based on feedback: “We acquired significant data.”

Putting It All Together: A Practical Workflow

Fixing awkward phrasing isn’t a one-time operation; it’s an iterative process. Integrate these strategies into your writing and editing workflow.

Draft Freely: Don’t obsess over perfection in the first pass. Get your ideas down. This initial awkwardness is often a sign you’re thinking complex thoughts.
First Edit – The “Big Picture”: Read for overall clarity and message. Does it make sense? Is the main point obvious?
Second Edit – Awkwardness Hunt (Strategy 1 & 2):
- Identify subjects and verbs. Can you make them more active?
- Spot nominalizations. Convert them to verbs.
- Look for wordiness, redundancy, and jargon. Slash unnecessary words.
Third Edit – Flow and Rhythm (Strategy 3 & 4):
- Read aloud. Listen for choppiness or overly long sentences.
- Check for dangling modifiers.
- Replace weak verbs and cliché phrases.
Final Polish – The “Read Aloud” Test & Peer Review: This is your last chance to catch lingering awkwardness.

This structured approach transforms the daunting task of “improving writing” into a series of manageable, actionable steps. By systematically addressing the common causes of awkward phrasing, you not only make your writing clearer and more impactful but also sharpen your thinking and communication skills. The true measure of effective writing isn’t just saying something; it’s ensuring that what you say is received precisely as you intend, without bumps, stumbles, or ambiguities along the way.