Every writer, at some point, stares at a sentence that just… doesn’t feel right. It clunks. It trips. It forces the reader to re-read, decipher, and ultimately, disengage. These are awkward sentences, and they are the kryptonite of clear communication. They don’t just interrupt the flow; they actively dismantle the connection between writer and reader. But the good news is, awkwardness isn’t a permanent condition. It’s a symptom, and for every symptom, there’s a cure. This definitive guide will equip you with the practical tools and nuanced understanding to diagnose and meticulously repair any awkward sentence, transforming your writing from a chore into a compelling experience.
We’ll delve deep into the anatomy of awkwardness, providing concrete examples and actionable strategies. This isn’t about rote memorization; it’s about cultivating an instinct for clarity and precision. By the end of this guide, you won’t just know how to fix awkward sentences; you’ll feel them before they even hit the page, and confidently transform them into elegant, impactful prose.
The Root Causes of Awkwardness: Diagnosing the Problem
Before you can fix an awkward sentence, you need to understand why it’s awkward. Awkwardness rarely stems from a single error; it’s often a confluence of stylistic missteps, grammatical inaccuracies, or a simple lack of clarity. Identifying the root cause is the first, crucial step.
1. Excess Baggage: Wordiness and Redundancy
One of the most common culprits of awkwardness is simply using too many words to say too little. Every word should earn its place. When words are superfluous, they create drag, obscure meaning, and make sentences feel cumbersome.
Common Scenarios:
- Pleonasm (Unnecessary Repetition): Repeating a concept or idea within the same phrase.
- Awkward: He made a new innovation. (Innovation is inherently new.)
- Fixed: He made an innovation.
- Redundant Modifiers: Using adverbs or adjectives that are already implied by the noun or verb.
- Awkward: They briefly summarized the report. (Summarizing is inherently brief.)
- Fixed: They summarized the report.
- Empty Words and Phrases: Fillers that add no new information or meaning.
- Awkward: In order to achieve success, you must work hard.
- Fixed: To achieve success, you must work hard.
- Awkward: It is very interesting to note the fact that the system failed.
- Fixed: The system failed. (Or, more specific: The system’s failure was interesting.)
- Circumlocution (Talking Around the Point): Using indirect or roundabout language.
- Awkward: The reason for the delay was due to the fact that the train was experiencing mechanical issues.
- Fixed: The delay was due to the train’s mechanical issues. (Even better: The train was delayed by mechanical issues.)
Actionable Fixes:
- Ruthless Editing: Read your sentences aloud. Do you stumble? Can you remove any words without losing meaning? Every word must contribute.
- Replace Phrases with Single Words: Often, a multi-word phrase can be condensed into a more powerful, concise single word.
- Instead of: “at this point in time” use “now”
- Instead of: “for the purpose of” use “for” or “to”
- Instead of: “in the event that” use “if”
- Target Adverbs and Adjectives: Scrutinize adverbs ending in -ly and general adjectives (e.g., “very,” “really,” “quite”). Can a stronger verb or noun eliminate their need?
- Awkward: She walked very slowly to the door.
- Fixed: She crept to the door.
2. Muddled Meaning: Lack of Clarity and Specificity
Ambiguity is the enemy of good writing. When a sentence can be interpreted in multiple ways, or its core message is vague, it becomes awkward because the reader has to work to understand it.
Common Scenarios:
- Vague Pronoun Reference: When it’s unclear what a pronoun (it, they, this, which) refers to.
- Awkward: He placed the book on the table, which was old. (Was the book old or the table?)
- Fixed: He placed the old book on the table. (Or: He placed the book on the old table.)
- Squinting Modifiers: A modifier placed ambiguously between two words it could modify, creating two possible meanings.
- Awkward: Telling lies frequently gets you into trouble. (Does telling lies frequently get you into trouble, or does telling lies get you into trouble frequently?)
- Fixed: Telling lies gets you into trouble frequently. (Or: Frequently telling lies gets you into trouble.)
- Abstract Nouns: Over-reliance on nouns that represent concepts, qualities, or states rather than concrete things or actions. This often leads to passive voice and wordiness.
- Awkward: The implementation of the new policy occurred.
- Fixed: They implemented the new policy.
- Unclear Subject-Verb Relationship: When it’s hard to tell who or what is performing the action.
- Awkward: The decision to proceed was made by the team. (Passive voice leading to ambiguity of who exactly made it.)
- Fixed: The team made the decision to proceed.
Actionable Fixes:
- Specify, Specify, Specify: Replace vague pronouns with the actual noun. Use concrete nouns and strong verbs.
- Rephrase for Directness: Ask yourself: Who is doing what? What is the core action? Rephrase to make that immediately clear.
- Active Voice Over Passive Voice: While not always wrong, passive voice often obscures the actor and can contribute to awkwardness.
- Passive: The ball was thrown by the boy.
- Active: The boy threw the ball.
- Break Down Complex Ideas: If a single sentence tries to juggle too much information, split it into two or more clearer sentences.
3. Grammatical Gaffes and Structural Sins
Grammatical errors, whether minor or major, immediately jar the reader. They disrupt the expected structure of language, forcing the brain to pause and re-evaluate, leading to an awkward reading experience.
Common Scenarios:
- Dangling Modifiers: A descriptive phrase whose subject is missing from the sentence, or unclear.
- Awkward: Walking down the street, the large dog barked at me. (Was the dog walking down the street?)
- Fixed: As I walked down the street, the large dog barked at me. (Or: Walking down the street, I saw a large dog bark at me.)
- Misplaced Modifiers: A word or phrase that describes something, but is placed in such a way that it appears to modify something else.
- Awkward: She served sandwiches to the children on paper plates. (Were the children on paper plates?)
- Fixed: She served sandwiches on paper plates to the children.
- Parallelism Problems: When items in a list or series are not in the same grammatical form (e.g., noun, noun, noun; verb, verb, verb).
- Awkward: He enjoys running, to swim, and cycling.
- Fixed: He enjoys running, swimming, and cycling.
- Subject-Verb Agreement Errors: When a singular subject is paired with a plural verb, or vice-versa.
- Awkward: The group of students are eager to learn.
- Fixed: The group of students is eager to learn. (The subject is “group,” which is singular.)
- Comma Splices/Run-on Sentences: Joining two independent clauses with only a comma (comma splice) or no punctuation (run-on).
- Awkward: The sun was setting, it cast long shadows. (Comma splice)
- Fixed: The sun was setting; it cast long shadows. (Semicolon)
- Fixed: The sun was setting, and it cast long shadows. (Conjunction)
- Fixed: The sun was setting. It cast long shadows. (Separate sentences)
Actionable Fixes:
- Identify the Subject: For dangling and misplaced modifiers, determine what the modifier is supposed to describe and ensure it’s immediately adjacent or clearly linked.
- Check Lists: When using lists, ensure every item starts with the same grammatical structure.
- Proofread Carefully: Don’t rely solely on spellcheck. Develop an eye for common grammatical errors. Print out your text and read it aloud – errors are often more obvious when heard.
- Understand Sentence Structure: A firm grasp of clauses (independent and dependent) will help you correctly punctuate and combine sentences.
4. Poor Flow and Rhythm: The Unspoken Element
Beyond grammar and clarity, sentences possess an inherent rhythm. When this rhythm is disrupted – by choppy phrases, overly long clauses, or an unnatural cadence – the sentence feels awkward, even if technically correct.
Common Scenarios:
- Choppy Sentences: A series of short, simple sentences that lack conjunctions or transitions, creating a staccato, disconnected effect.
- Awkward: The dog ran. It was fast. It chased the ball.
- Fixed: The fast dog ran, chasing the ball.
- Overly Long Sentences: Sentences that go on for too long, packing in too many ideas, becoming breathless and difficult to parse.
- Awkward: The old house, which had stood on the hill for over a century, despite various attempts at renovation by its previous owners who were often deterred by the sheer scale of the project and the extensive repairs needed to its crumbling foundations and leaking roof, finally collapsed last Tuesday during the storm.
- Fixed: The old house had stood on the hill for over a century. Despite various renovation attempts by previous owners, who were often deterred by the project’s scale and extensive repairs, its crumbling foundations and leaking roof gave way. It finally collapsed last Tuesday during the storm.
- Unnatural Phrasing/Conversational Clumsiness: Sentences that sound stilted or forced when read aloud, as if translated literally from another language or thought pattern.
- Awkward: It is with considerable certainty that I declare my disinterest in the proposal.
- Fixed: I am certain I am not interested in the proposal. (Or: I am definitely not interested in the proposal.)
- Repetitive Sentence Structure: Always starting sentences with the subject-verb order, or consistently using the same conjunctions.
- Awkward: The cat sat. The dog barked. The bird chirped. Each was happy.
- Fixed: The cat sat, the dog barked, and the bird chirped; each animal seemed content.
Actionable Fixes:
- Read Aloud: This cannot be stressed enough. Your ear is an excellent detector of awkwardness. If you stumble, the reader will too.
- Vary Sentence Length: Mix short, punchy sentences with longer, more complex ones for better flow.
- Use Transitional Words and Phrases: Connect ideas smoothly between and within sentences (e.g., however, therefore, in addition, consequently, similarly).
- Combine and Divide: Learn when to combine choppy sentences using conjunctions or dependent clauses, and when to break a rambling sentence into more manageable units.
- Rephrase for Naturalness: Aim for conversational flow, but with precision and conciseness. Ask yourself, “How would a smart, clear-speaking person explain this?”
The Repair Shop: Practical Techniques for Sentence Restoration
Now that we’ve diagnosed the common ailments, let’s explore the specific tools and techniques you can employ to mend those broken sentences.
1. Condense and Consolidate: The Art of Economy
Less is often more. Stripping away unnecessary words and merging related ideas into tighter units makes sentences more powerful and less bloated.
Techniques:
- Eliminate Redundant Pairs/Phrases:
- Awkward: The final outcome was positive.
- Fixed: The outcome was positive.
- Replace Clauses with Phrases or Single Words:
- Awkward: The man who was wearing a red hat left.
- Fixed: The man in the red hat left. (Even better: The man wearing a red hat left.)
- Use Stronger Verbs: Often, a weak verb paired with an adverb can be replaced by a single, powerful verb.
- Awkward: She walked quickly.
- Fixed: She strode.
- Awkward: They made a decision.
- Fixed: They decided.
- Combine Short Sentences: Use conjunctions, relative clauses, or participial phrases to create more sophisticated and fluid sentences.
- Awkward: The dog barked. It was loud. It startled the cat.
- Fixed: The loud dog barked, startling the cat.
2. Sharpen the Subject and Verb: Clarity First
The core of any clear sentence is a strong, identifiable subject performing a distinct action (verb). When this relationship is obscured, the sentence suffers.
Techniques:
- Identify the True Actor: Ask “Who or what is performing the action?” and make that the grammatical subject.
- Awkward: There was a discussion about the proposal. (Who discussed?)
- Fixed: We discussed the proposal. (Or: The committee discussed the proposal.)
- Convert Abstract Nouns to Verbs: This often leads to more active, direct sentences.
- Awkward: The analysis of the data was performed.
- Fixed: They analyzed the data.
- Prioritize Active Voice: While passive voice has its uses (e.g., when the actor is unknown or unimportant), active voice generally creates more vigorous and less awkward sentences.
- Awkward: The mistake was made by me.
- Fixed: I made the mistake.
3. Reorder for Emphasis and Flow: The Art of Arrangement
The order of words in a sentence profoundly impacts its meaning, emphasis, and readability. Play with sentence syntax to achieve the desired effect.
Techniques:
- Move Modifiers Closer to What They Modify: This fixes misplaced and dangling modifiers.
- Awkward: He promised to return the book often. (Did he often promise or often return?)
- Fixed: He often promised to return the book. (Or: He promised to often return the book.)
- Vary Sentence Openers: Don’t start every sentence with the subject. Begin with an adverb, a participial phrase, a prepositional phrase, or a dependent clause.
- Awkward: The rain fell. The children ran inside. They were laughing.
- Fixed: As the rain fell, the children, laughing, ran inside.
- Place New Information at the End: Sentences often flow better when familiar information comes first, and new, important information is delivered at the end. This is called the “given-new” contract.
- Awkward: A powerful new drug was discovered that could cure the disease.
- Fixed: The disease, which had been previously incurable, could now be treated by a powerful new drug. (Okay, this one’s a bit subjective, but often moving the emphasis to the end works.)
4. Punctuation as Your Ally: Orchestrating Clarity
Punctuation isn’t just about rules; it’s about guiding the reader, creating pauses, emphasis, and connection. Correct punctuation can resolve surprising amounts of awkwardness.
Techniques:
- Use Commas for Clarity (Not Just for Rules): Commas separate ideas, clauses, and list items, preventing jumbled meaning.
- Awkward: He needed a pen paper and a calculator.
- Fixed: He needed a pen, paper, and a calculator. (Oxford comma for clarity)
- Semicolons for Closely Related Independent Clauses: They offer a smoother connection than a period but a stronger separation than a comma.
- Awkward: The sky was dark the storm was approaching.
- Fixed: The sky was dark; the storm was approaching.
- Dashes for Emphasis or Explanation: They can set off parenthetical information or create a sudden break in thought.
- Awkward: The answer which was surprising involved several complex calculations.
- Fixed: The answer—which was surprising—involved several complex calculations.
- Break Down Run-ons and Comma Splices: Use periods, semicolons, or conjunctions to correctly separate independent clauses.
5. Embrace Precision: The Right Word in the Right Place
Vagueness contributes heavily to awkwardness. Choosing the precise word – the one that perfectly encapsulates your meaning – is paramount.
Techniques:
- Replace Vague Nouns with Specific Ones:
- Awkward: He had a thing that made noise.
- Fixed: He had a whistle that made noise.
- Use Concrete Language: Describe observable actions and tangible items rather than abstract concepts.
- Awkward: The organization engaged in the effective implementation of its strategic objectives.
- Fixed: The organization effectively achieved its goals.
- Avoid Jargon and Clichés: Unless your audience is highly specialized, plain language is almost always clearer. Clichés, while familiar, are often awkward because they lack originality and impact.
- Awkward: They worked 24/7 to get the low-hanging fruit.
- Fixed: They worked constantly to get the easiest tasks done.
The Polishing Phase: Beyond Mere Correction
Fixing awkward sentences isn’t just about applying rules; it’s about developing an ear, an instinct, and a critical eye for quality.
1. The Power of Reading Aloud (Again!)
This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a fundamental step. Your eyes might glide over errors, but your ears will catch them. Stumbling, repeating words, or losing breath are all tell-tale signs of awkwardness.
- Listen for Rhythm and Flow: Does the sentence flow naturally? Does it sound like spoken language (if appropriate for your context)?
- Identify Breathing Breaks: If you run out of breath reading a sentence, it’s probably too long or poorly structured.
- Hear Redundancy: Your ear often picks up repeated sounds or concepts before your eye does.
2. Seek Fresh Eyes: The External Perspective
Even the most seasoned writers benefit from a second pair of eyes. What makes perfect sense to you, the author, might be completely opaque to a fresh reader.
- Ask for Specific Feedback: Don’t just ask, “Is this good?” Ask: “Is this sentence clear? Does it flow? Is there any part that confuses you?”
- Targeted Review: If you know you struggle with certain types of awkwardness (e.g., dangling modifiers), specifically ask your reviewer to look for those.
3. Embrace the Rewrite: Iteration is Key
Editing is not a one-and-done process. Sometimes, a sentence needs to be completely re-imagined. Don’t be afraid to scrap an entire sentence and start fresh if it’s stubbornly awkward.
- Walk Away and Return: A break can give you the fresh perspective you need to see flaws you previously missed.
- Experiment with Different Structures: Try framing the same idea in several different ways. You might surprise yourself with a more elegant solution.
- Focus on One Awkwardness at a Time: If a sentence has multiple issues, pick the most glaring one first, fix it, then re-evaluate the sentence for remaining problems.
4. Cultivate Your Inner Critic: Develop an “Awkward-ometer”
The ultimate goal is to internalize these principles so deeply that you instinctively recognize awkwardness as you write, preventing it rather than just fixing it.
- Analyze Good Writing: Read authors known for their clarity and conciseness. Pay attention to how they construct sentences, vary rhythm, and convey complex ideas simply.
- Practice Deliberately: Don’t just fix awkward sentences; understand why they were awkward and why your fix works. This builds your analytical muscles.
- Journal Your Discoveries: Keep a log of common awkwardness you discover in your own writing and the specific fixes you apply. This reinforces learning.
Conclusion
Fixing awkward sentences is not a remedial task; it is an essential facet of mastery in communication. It is the process of chiseling away superfluity, clarifying ambiguity, and perfecting the rhythm of your prose. By diligently applying the diagnostic tools and repair techniques outlined in this guide, you will transform your writing from merely comprehensible to undeniably compelling. The journey to impeccable sentence crafting is ongoing, but with these actionable strategies, you are now equipped to tackle any linguistic challenge and elevate your words with precision and power.