The difference between a story that grabs a reader and one that just… exists… often comes down to mastering “Show, Don’t Tell.” This isn’t just some writing tip; it’s the absolute foundation of immersive storytelling. New writers often trip up by telling their readers what to feel, what to think, or what’s happening, instead of crafting scenes that let those insights unfold naturally. Can you imagine just being told a character is sad versus watching them trace the rim of a cold, empty coffee cup, their gaze glued to a distant, blurry windowpane? The second one isn’t just more vivid; it’s an invitation for you, the reader, to participate, to feel the sadness yourself.
This is not about vague advice. This is a deep dive into the ‘how’ and ‘why’ of showing, complete with five actionable exercises designed to transform your writing from flat observations into vibrant, living experiences. We’re going to strip away the theoretical and plunge right into the practical, equipping you with the tools to paint pictures with words, stir emotions, and build worlds readers can absolutely lose themselves in. Get ready to dismantle your old ideas of storytelling and build a stronger, more resonant narrative muscle.
Deconstructing the “Tell”: Recognizing the Pitfalls
Before we can effectively show, we need to understand what we’re actually trying to move away from. “Telling” is basically summary, exposition, or just a direct statement. It’s efficient, sure, but efficiency often sacrifices engagement.
Common “Telling” Traps I’ve spotted (and fallen into myself!):
- Emotional Labeling: “She was angry.” “He felt sad.” These tell us the emotion but don’t show us how it looks or why it’s there, leaving us feeling detached.
- Character Traits as Statements: “He was a kind man.” “She was intelligent.” We don’t see the kindness in action or the intelligence at work; we’re just given a descriptor.
- Background as Infodump: “John had a difficult childhood, which made him cynical.” While this explains, it doesn’t reveal through a scene, dialogue, or internal thoughts.
- Sensory Neglect: Skipping over sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures, which makes scenes feel abstract and ungrounded.
- Internal States Unexplored (or Merely Named): “He thought about his problems.” This summary lacks the detail of what he thought, how he thought it, or why it was a problem.
The real snag with telling is that it creates distance. You, the reader, aren’t experiencing the story; you’re being told the story. Think of it like a tour guide pointing out landmarks from a bus window versus stepping out and walking through the bustling market, tasting the spices, hearing the street vendors. We want your readers in the market, not stuck on the bus.
The Power of Showing: Why It Matters
Showing is all about immersing the reader through sensory details, actions, dialogue, and internal thought processes. It bypasses the analytical brain and speaks directly to the emotional and imaginative brain.
Why Showing Elevates My Story (and yours!):
- Creates Immersion: Readers genuinely feel like they are there, experiencing events right alongside the characters.
- Evokes Emotion: Instead of being told a character is sad, the reader feels a pang of sadness themselves as they read about the character’s observable grief.
- Builds Credibility: When characters’ traits or plot points are demonstrated rather than just stated, they feel so much more authentic and believable.
- Engages the Reader: Showing requires the reader to participate, to infer, to connect the dots, making the reading experience more active and rewarding.
- Adds Nuance and Subtlety: Emotions and motivations are rarely simple. Showing allows for complexity, contradiction, and underlying tension that simple telling just can’t convey.
- Enhances Pacing: While telling can rush through moments, showing slows down and lingers on the significant, allowing scenes to breathe and moments to truly resonate.
Exercise 1: The “Sensory Inventory” Transformation
This exercise targets the most fundamental part of showing: grounding your scene in sensory reality. So many writers focus almost exclusively on sight. This exercise forces you to engage all five senses, leading to richer, more immediate descriptions.
The Challenge I give myself: Take a “told” sentence or short paragraph and expand it into a “shown” paragraph by integrating details from all five senses.
Instructions:
- Choose a “Told” Sentence: Pick a simple statement about a character, an emotion, or an environment.
- Example 1 (Character/Emotion): “She was nervous.”
- Example 2 (Environment): “The old house was creepy.”
- Example 3 (Action/Situation): “The old man was tired after working in his garden.”
- Brainstorm Sensory Details for Each Sense (Sight, Sound, Smell, Taste, Touch): For your chosen sentence, list specific, concrete details for each sense that would naturally arise from that state or environment. Don’t worry about being perfect; just free-associate.
- For “She was nervous”:
- Sight: Fidgeting hands, darting eyes, pale face, sweaty upper lip, leaning posture.
- Sound: Rapid breathing, faint tremor in voice, silence.
- Smell: Faint metallic tang of fear, her own perfume suddenly too strong.
- Taste: Dry mouth, a bitter aftertaste, the urge to bite her lip.
- Touch: Clammy palms, racing pulse, cold knot in stomach, itch on scalp.
- For “She was nervous”:
- Weave into a Paragraph: Construct a short paragraph using these details. Don’t just list them; integrate them naturally into actions, internal sensations, and environmental observations.
Transformation Example 1 (Nervousness):
- Told: “She was nervous.”
- Shown: Her stomach clenched into a cold, hard knot. She picked at a loose thread on her sleeve, her fingers clammy, then pressed them against her temples, feeling the frantic thump of her pulse. A faint, metallic tang like old pennies coated her tongue, and her breath hitched, tasting suddenly too shallow. Her gaze darted from the chipped paint on the wall to the scuffed toes of her shoes, unwilling to meet anyone’s eye, the distant murmur of voices outside the door sounding strangely muffled, yet impossibly loud.
Transformation Example 2 (Creepy House):
- Told: “The old house was creepy.”
- Shown: The air inside the house felt thick and still, carrying the cloying scent of dust and something vaguely moldy, like forgotten leaves. Moonlight, fractured by brittle, lace curtains, cast long, twisting shadows that writhed across the grimy floorboards. Every breath taken in the silence seemed to echo, amplified, and the occasional creak from the floor above made the hairs on her arms prickle. A damp, earthy taste lingered on her tongue, and she could almost feel the years of decay clinging to the faded wallpaper as she instinctively avoided touching anything.
Key Learning: This exercise genuinely trains my observational skills. It forces me to think beyond the obvious and consider the full sensory spectrum of any given moment. The more sensory details I provide, the more real and immediate my scene becomes.
Exercise 2: The “Action-Verbs, Not Adjectives” Challenge
Weak writing often relies heavily on adverbs and adjectives to describe. Strong writing uses precise, active verbs that convey meaning and emotion through action. This exercise helps me replace descriptive modifiers with stronger verbs and concrete actions.
The Challenge: I aim to rewrite sentences that use adverbs or general adjectives to describe actions or states, focusing instead on showing through specific verbs and character actions.
Instructions:
- Identify Sentences with Weak Adverbs/Adjectives: I look for sentences where an adverb (e.g., “walked slowly,” “spoke angrily“) or an adjective followed by “was/were” (e.g., “He was lazy,” “She was excited“) is doing too much of the work.
- Example 1 (Adverb): “He walked slowly.”
- Example 2 (Adjective): “She was happy.”
- Example 3 (Action/Adverb): “He stared angrily at the report.”
- Brainstorm Concrete Actions/Verbs: For each sentence, I think about what a person doing that action or feeling that emotion would physically do. What verbs could replace the adverb/adjective?
- For “He walked slowly”:
- Actions: Dragged his feet, shuffled, limped, ambled, plodded, sauntered, lingered.
- Reasons: Exhaustion, preoccupation, physical pain, intentional delay.
- For “He walked slowly”:
- Rewrite the Sentence: I replace the weak adverb/adjective with a stronger verb or a descriptive action. It’s not just swapping one word; I think about the entire sentence or even expand it slightly to incorporate the new action.
Transformation Example 1 (Walking Slowly):
- Told: “He walked slowly.”
- Shown: His feet scuffed the pavement, each step a deliberate, almost painful effort.
- Shown (Alternative): He shuffled, his gaze fixed on the cracks in the sidewalk, as if each one held a profound secret.
- Shown (Alternative): He ambled, hands shoved into his pockets, pausing every few yards to watch the leaves spin down from the oak trees.
Transformation Example 2 (Happy):
- Told: “She was happy.”
- Shown: A wide grin stretched her lips, and her eyes crinkled at the corners. She bounced lightly on the balls of her feet.
- Shown (Alternative): She hummed a tune under her breath, her steps light enough to skip, and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling at every stranger she passed.
Transformation Example 3 (Stared Angrily):
- Told: “He stared angrily at the report.”
- Shown: His jaw tightened, a muscle twitching near his ear, as he crumpled the report in his fist.
- Shown (Alternative): He slammed the report onto the desk, his eyes narrowing to slits as he glared at the bolded figures.
Key Learning: This exercise pushes me to find the most precise and active language. Strong verbs don’t just describe; they do. They add energy, clarity, and visual impact, allowing the reader to infer the character’s state rather than being told it explicitly.
Exercise 3: The “Dialogue & Subtext” Deep Dive
Dialogue is a goldmine for showing. Characters rarely say exactly what they mean, especially when emotions are running high. The true art of showing in dialogue lies in revealing motivations, relationships, and hidden feelings through what is not said, how it’s said, and the actions accompanying it.
The Challenge: I take a situation where a character wants to convey something but doesn’t state it directly. Instead, they imply it through dialogue and concurrent actions.
Instructions:
- Define a Hidden Motivation/Emotion: I choose a simple scenario where Character A feels something (anger, jealousy, affection, fear, exhaustion, etc.) towards Character B, but won’t openly express it.
- Example Scenario: Character A (Sarah) is jealous of Character B (Mark) getting a promotion she wanted. They are talking at the office.
- Example Scenario: Character A (David) is deeply worried about his daughter (Lily) moving to another city, but wants to appear supportive. They are saying goodbye.
- Brainstorm Subtextual Cues: How would this hidden emotion manifest in dialogue and action?
- Dialogue: Passive-aggressive remarks, overly sweet tones, sharp questions, avoidance of topic, forced cheerfulness, short answers, changing the subject.
Action: Fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, forced smile, crossing arms, clenching jaw, touching/avoiding touch, sighing, clearing throat, subtle gestures.
- Dialogue: Passive-aggressive remarks, overly sweet tones, sharp questions, avoidance of topic, forced cheerfulness, short answers, changing the subject.
- Draft the Scene: I write a short dialogue exchange (2-4 lines per character) that implies the hidden emotion without explicitly stating it. I integrate actions or observations.
Transformation Example 1 (Jealousy):
- Told (Scenario): Sarah was jealous of Mark’s promotion.
- Shown:
“Congrats on the promotion, Mark,” Sarah chirped, her smile stretched a little too wide, a vein throbbing faintly in her temple. She didn’t offer her hand.
Mark beamed. “Thanks, Sarah! Means a lot.”
“Oh, I’m sure it does,” she said, picking at a loose thread on her sweater. “All those late nights finally paid off.” Her eyes flicked dismissively at the stack of papers on his desk. “Must be nice.”
Transformation Example 2 (Worried Support):
- Told (Scenario): David was deeply worried about Lily moving, but tried to appear supportive.
- Shown:
“You’ve got everything?” David asked, running his hand over the worn fabric of Lily’s suitcase one last time. His grip lingered.
“Yep, Dad. You’ve asked me ten times,” Lily chuckled, shifting her weight.
He nodded, but his gaze remained fixed on the bustling terminal entrance. “Just… make sure you call. Every day. Even if it’s just a text. Or a picture of your breakfast.” He cleared his throat, a rough sound. “You’ll be great. Just great.” He forced a broad, shaky smile, but his eyes were still scanning the crowd, as if searching for something to stop her.
Key Learning: This exercise is crucial for developing nuanced characters and realistic interactions. People are complex, and their outward expressions often mask deeper feelings. Mastering subtext adds layers of meaning to my dialogue, making it resonate long after the words are read.
Exercise 4: The “Internal Monologue as Revelation” Practice
While external actions and dialogue are vital, a character’s internal landscape is equally powerful for showing. Rather than simply stating a character’s thoughts or feelings, effective “showing” uses internal monologue to reveal their thought process, motivations, and emotional state through specific, evocative language.
The Challenge: I take a character and a simple internal “telling” statement. I then expand this into a paragraph of internal monologue that vividly shows the character’s inner world, without explicitly labeling their feelings.
Instructions:
- Choose a “Told” Internal State: I pick a general statement about what a character is thinking or feeling.
- Example 1 (Worry/Indecision): “He was worried about the decision and felt conflicted.”
- Example 2 (Regret): “She regretted what she said.”
- Example 3 (Growing Suspicion): “He started to suspect his friend.”
- Brainstorm Internal Manifestations: How would this thought or feeling play out in the character’s mind?
- Specific thoughts/questions: What exactly are they thinking? What “if-then” scenarios are running?
- Sensory/Physical sensations: How does the emotion feel within their body? (e.g., tight chest, buzzing mind, churning stomach)
- Memory snippets: Do related memories surface?
- Figurative language: Metaphors, similes that illustrate the internal state.
- Repetition: Do certain thoughts loop?
- Draft the Internal Monologue: I write a paragraph (or more) that delves into the character’s mind. I make sure not to use the original “told” phrasing. I let the thoughts and sensations demonstrate the internal state.
Transformation Example 1 (Worry/Indecision):
- Told: “He was worried about the decision and felt conflicted.”
- Shown: The options gnawed at him, two gaping mouths in his stomach. One path, a familiar, well-trodden rut, promised stability but tasted like ash. The other, an untamed thicket, whispered of freedom and possibility but roared of risk. He could almost feel the weight of each choice pressing down, one on his left shoulder, one on his right, a constant, low thrum behind his eyes. He squeezed them shut, but the arguments only grew louder inside.
Transformation Example 2 (Regret):):
- Told: “She regretted what she said.”
- Shown: The words, sharp and unwarranted, echoed in her ears like broken glass. She saw his face again, the flicker of hurt before he blanked it out, and the image seared. An icy clench seized her chest, making it hard to draw a full breath. If only she could rewind, snatch the venom from the air, un-see the damage done. That heavy, sick plummet in her gut was a constant reminder, a self-inflicted wound throbbing with every beat of her heart.
Key Learning: Internal monologue is more than just reporting thoughts. It’s about letting the reader experience the flow and texture of thought, the nuances of feeling, and the complex inner world that drives character actions. This exercise forces me to make that inner landscape as vivid as the external one.
Exercise 5: The “Scene Snapshot” Expansion
This exercise brings together everything from the previous four, challenging me to expand a bare-bones scene summary into a fully “shown” moment, rich with detail, action, emotion, and subtle hints.
The Challenge: I take a simple, ‘told’ scene description and rewrite it, expanding it significantly using sensory details, concrete actions, dialogue (with subtext), and internal monologue to show, rather than tell, what is happening, what characters are feeling, and what is at stake.
Instructions:
- Select a “Told” Scene Summary: I choose a summary sentence for a brief moment in a story.
- Example 1: “A character found an unexpected item and was surprised.”
- Example 2: “A couple argued about a shared problem.”
- Example 3: “Someone realized they were in danger.”
- Brainstorm the “How”: For my chosen scene, I consider:
- What are characters doing? (physical actions, gestures, micro-expressions)
- What senses are engaged? (sights, sounds, smells, textures, tastes)
- What is the dialogue? (and what is the subtext?)
- What are the character’s internal thoughts/feelings? (how do they manifest internally?)
- What is the setting’s role? (how does it contribute to the mood or revelation?)
- Draft the Expanded Scene: I write a short scene (1-2 paragraphs minimum) that brings the summary to life using showing techniques. I make sure to avoid the original summary statement.
Transformation Example 1 (Unexpected Item/Surprise):
- Told: “A character found an unexpected item and was surprised.”
- Shown: He ran his fingers along the dusty wooden shelf, the air in the forgotten attic thick with the scent of mildew and decaying paper. His hand snagged on something small, tucked behind a stack of brittle encyclopedias. Not a book. He tugged gently, and a small, velvet-covered box slid free. Its once-vibrant crimson was faded with time, but when he clicked open the clasp, a delicate, tarnished silver locket rested inside on a bed of yellowed satin. Not his grandmother’s. He’d seen all her jewelry. This was… different. He lifted it, the surprising weight of it cool in his palm, and turned it over. On the back, etched in a script he didn’t recognize, was a single, peculiar symbol he’d only ever seen in the worn, leather-bound journal tucked beneath his bed. A sudden, sharp intake of breath startled the silent dust motes dancing in the sunbeam. His heart hammered a frantic rhythm against his ribs.
Transformation Example 2 (Couple Arguing/Shared Problem):
- Told: “A couple argued about a shared problem.”
- Shown: She pressed her lips into a thin line, tracing the rim of her coffee mug with a chipped fingernail, the clinking sound unnerving in the sudden quiet of the kitchen. “So, that’s it then?” her voice was flat, devoid of its usual warmth. Across the table, Mark inhaled slowly, the steam from his own untouched mug curling around his face like a veil. He didn’t meet her eyes, opting instead to peel a stubborn label off a jam jar. “What else is there to say, Chloe?” he mumbled, his jaw tight. “We both know where we stand.” A raw quiet filled the space between them, thick with the scent of burnt toast and unspoken accusation. Chloe finally looked up, her gaze cutting into him. “We stand in a pile of bills, that’s where we stand,” she snapped, her knuckles whitening as she gripped the mug.
Key Learning: This exercise synthesizes all the previous lessons. It demonstrates how interwoven layers of sensory detail, action, dialogue, and internal thought can build a scene from the ground up, allowing the reader to experience the story’s emotional and narrative beats firsthand, rather than merely being informed of them.
The Ongoing Practice: Integrating Showing into Your Workflow
Mastering “Show, Don’t Tell” isn’t a one-and-done achievement. It’s a muscle you continuously build and refine. Here’s how I integrate these exercises into my regular writing practice:
- Self-Critique with Fresh Eyes: After I complete a first draft, I re-read my work specifically looking for “telling” sentences. I highlight them. Then, I apply the relevant exercises.
- Targeted Rewrites: I choose a specific scene or paragraph from my current work-in-progress and commit to transforming its “telling” elements into “showing” ones.
- Read Like a Writer: When I read other authors, I pay attention to how they convey emotion, character traits, and plot points. Do they tell or show? How do they achieve their effects?
- The “So What?” Test: If I write a sentence that tells, I ask myself: “So what? What does that look like? What does that feel like? What does that sound like?”
- Embrace the Messy Draft: I don’t let the pressure to show perfectly inhibit my first draft. I get the story down, then I go back and layer in the sensory details, specific actions, and nuanced internal landscapes. Showing is often a process of expansion and deepening in revision.
Conclusion
“Show, Don’t Tell” is more than a rule; it’s an invitation. It invites you, the reader, to step into my story, to feel its air, taste its moments, and become intimately acquainted with its characters. By diligently practicing these five exercises – the Sensory Inventory, Action-Verbs not Adjectives, Dialogue & Subtext, Internal Monologue as Revelation, and Scene Snapshot Expansion – I know I’ll steadily hone my ability to transform abstract statements into vibrant, unforgettable experiences.
The difference in your writing will be palpable. My characters will breathe. My settings will hum with life. And you, the reader, instead of passively observing, will be actively embedded in the very heart of my narrative. This mastery isn’t just about crafting better sentences; it’s about building worlds that resonate, characters that linger, and stories that truly come alive.