You know, when I think about what makes a story truly grab you, it all comes back to this idea of “show, don’t tell.” It’s not just some fancy phrase; it’s honestly the secret sauce to making your readers feel like they’re right there with your characters, instead of just reading a report. Telling someone something is like giving them the summary of a thrilling rollercoaster ride – they get the idea, but they don’t feel the drops or the twists. Showing, on the other hand, puts them in the front seat, wind in their hair, stomach churning. That’s what we’re going for, right? To pull them in so deep they forget they’re even reading.
Let’s break down why this whole showing business is so important. When you just tell people what’s happening, you’re essentially doing all the work for them. “She was sad,” for instance. Your reader processes that, maybe nods, and then moves on. But when you show that sadness – when you give them those droopy shoulders, the glint of tears, that quiet, heartbreaking sigh – you give them the ingredients, and they get to bake the whole emotional cake themselves. They become part of the story, actively feeling it, and that’s what makes it stick with them. It builds trust, you know? You’re not lecturing them; you’re revealing it.
So, how do we actually do this showing thing? It’s not one trick, but a bunch of different techniques all working together. If you get good at these, your writing is going to take off.
1. Using Your Senses: The Doorway to Their World
Think about how you experience life – it’s all through your senses. To get your reader fully immersed, you have to engage theirs. What do your characters see, hear, smell, taste, and feel? Don’t just slap a label on something; describe it so they can almost touch it.
If I just told you, “The old house was creepy,” you’d get it, sure. But what if I said, “The peeling paint on the Victorian sagged like decaying skin, and the porch swing creaked a mournful rhythm in the wind. A faint, earthy scent of mildew and forgotten dreams clung to the rotting wood”? See the difference? You’re there.
Here’s a little tip: For every scene, try to consciously pick out at least three different sensory details, not just what something looks like. What’s the standout sound? Is there a peculiar smell? How does the air feel against the character’s skin?
And for a more advanced move, you can use these details to hint at things or tell us something about your character. Someone who notices the subtle scent of lavender in a sterile hospital room might be more observant, while someone who only sees the flashing emergency lights might be prone to anxiety.
2. Body Language: The Words They Don’t Say
People show so much about what’s going on inside through their bodies. Body language is a goldmine for showing emotions, intentions, and how people relate to each other, all without a single spoken word.
Instead of, “He was angry,” try this: “His jaw clenched so tightly the muscle twitched beneath his ear. He balled his fists at his sides, knuckles white, and his gaze, usually placid, had sharpened to dangerous points.” Doesn’t that just feel angry?
Go out and watch people! How do they show they’re nervous, excited, bored, or loving? Translate those observations into your characters. And don’t just say ‘shrugged.’ Was it a weary shrug, an indignant shrug, a dismissive shrug? Get specific.
For an extra layer, you can have a character say one thing, but their body language tells a completely different story. Someone might declare, “I’m fine,” but their hands are constantly fidgeting under the table, showing their real anxiety. That creates awesome tension!
3. Dialogue: More Than Just Chit-Chat
Dialogue isn’t just about moving the plot along. It’s a fantastic way to show who your characters are, move the story forward, build relationships, and hint at unspoken things. Every word, and every silence, matters.
If I wrote, “She was a nervous person and stuttered a lot,” you’d understand. But imagine hearing: “‘Um… I-I just… I don’t know,’ she stammered, twisting the hem of her shirt around her fingers. The silence stretched, thick with her unspoken apprehension.” You can hear her nervousness, right?
Make sure your dialogue sounds real for each character. Read it out loud! Does it flow naturally? Does it sound like them? Use dialogue to show conflicts or who’s in charge. The character who always interrupts reveals their dominance; the one who defers shows their submissiveness.
And here’s a pro tip: use subtext. What are they really saying beneath the words? A casual compliment might hide a thinly disguised insult; a seemingly innocent question could actually be an accusation.
4. Going Inside Their Head: What They’re Thinking
While you generally don’t want to just tell us what a character’s feeling, you can effectively show us their thoughts. This is where the reader gets to step right into your character’s mind.
Instead of, “He distrusted the newcomer,” let us hear his thoughts: “His smile was too wide, his eyes too eager,” Liam thought, a knot tightening in his stomach. “And that hand he offered? Limp, like a dead fish.” Now we know why he distrusts him.
Frame those internal thoughts as real reactions or observations. Use sensory and emotional language within the thought itself. “This coffee is awful” is telling. “The bitter liquid scalded his tongue, a grim reminder of his morning. Another failure,” shows so much more.
For advanced writers, stream of consciousness can be powerful for showing a character’s stress or a chaotic mind. Think fragmented sentences, quick shifts, and repetitions to convey an internal breakdown.
5. Actions Speak Louder Than Words: What They Do
Characters reveal who they are by what they do and how they react. Actions are the ultimate way to show us their personality, their motivations, and what they believe.
If I just said, “She was brave,” it’s kind of flat. But what if I wrote: “The fire alarm blared, a raw shriek that sent others diving for the exits. But Amelia, her jaw set, sprinted towards the nursery, the infant incubator glowing red through the smoke.” That’s not just brave; that’s heroic.
Don’t just state a character’s trait; illustrate it! Instead of saying someone is kind, show them performing an act of kindness. Instead of saying they’re cowardly, show them shrinking from a challenge.
And pay attention to repetitive actions. A character who always checks a lock three times before leaving the house reveals a need for control or underlying anxiety, without you having to spell it out.
6. Setting and Atmosphere: Your World as a Character
The place where your story happens isn’t just a background; it’s part of the story itself. It can reflect emotions, hint at future events, and even influence your characters. Use descriptions that create a mood.
“The mood was tense” is a tell. Try: “The air in the interrogation room was thick and still, heavy with unspoken accusations. A single fly buzzed incessantly against the grimy windowpane, its frantic flight a counterpoint to the two motionless figures at the scarred metal table.” You can feel that tension.
Think about how the setting enhances or contrasts with the current emotion or plot point. A happy scene described in a bleak, decaying setting can create irony; a sad moment in a vibrant, bustling city can emphasize isolation.
You can even use weather or nature as metaphors. A driving rain might reflect a character’s despair; a sudden burst of sunlight could symbolize hope.
7. Figurative Language: Painting with Words
Metaphors and similes aren’t just for poetry; they’re fantastic tools for showing. They create instant, vivid comparisons that help the reader grasp an idea or emotion without you having to explain it for ages.
“He was very nervous” is a tell. How about: “His heart hammered like a trapped bird against his ribs”? Or “Fear was a cold, clammy hand gripping his throat”? Those images instantly convey nervousness.
Make sure your figurative language is fresh and original, not tired clichés. A “heart of gold” tells; a character whose “smile was a weak sunbeam breaking through cloud cover” effectively shows.
And for an advanced technique, use extended metaphors or recurring symbols throughout your story to deepen themes without explicit explanation. A recurring image of a shattered mirror, for instance, could subtly reinforce themes of broken identity.
Okay, let’s talk about the traps we all fall into.
Even when we’re trying our best, we can accidentally slip into telling. Knowing what these common pitfalls are is the first step to avoiding them.
1. Adjective/Adverb Overload:
Using too many adjectives (especially judgmental ones like “ugly,” “beautiful,” “good,” “bad”) and adverbs (those -ly words like “quickly,” “angrily,” “sadly”) often means you’re telling. These words summarize what’s happening instead of showing the action that creates it.
Instead of, “He walked angrily,” try: “He stomped, each heavy bootfall rattling the floorboards, and slammed the door behind him.” You see the anger through his actions.
My tip here: When you use an adjective or adverb, stop. Can you replace it with an action, a sensory detail, or dialogue that shows the same thing more vividly?
2. “To Be” Verbs (Is, Was, Were): The Stagnation Trap
While you need “to be” verbs, too many of them can make your writing feel flat and static, making you tell instead of show. They often lead to abstract statements.
“The room was dark and cold. She was afraid.” That’s telling. Try: “Shadows clung to the corners of the room, and a bone-deep chill seaped from the stone walls. A shiver, involuntary and icy, traced a path down her spine.”
My tip: Find sentences with “to be” verbs. Can you swap them out for stronger, more active verbs that imply the state instead of just stating it?
3. Explaining Emotions: Don’t Name It, Evoke It
This is probably the biggest offender: directly stating a character’s emotion (“She was sad,” “He was happy,” “They felt jealous”). Your goal is to make the reader feel that emotion through the story, not just be told about it.
“He was embarrassed” is a tell. How about: “A flush crept up his neck, blooming across his cheeks. He stared intently at his shoes, unable to meet her gaze, wishing the ground would simply swallow him whole.” Now you feel his embarrassment.
My tip: When you find yourself writing an emotion word, delete it. Then, figure out how you can show that emotion through body language, internal thoughts, sensory details, or dialogue.
4. Pacing Problems: Rushing Through Details
Sometimes, we tell because we’re rushing through a scene or a character’s development. Slowing down allows you to sprinkle in those specific details that allow for showing.
“He quickly got ready” is a tell. Try: “He fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, his fingers suddenly clumsy. He splashed water on his face, a cold shock that did little to clear the fog from his mind, then snatched his keys and bolted out the door, leaving the coffee maker still sputtering.”
My tip: Look at scenes where important plot points or character revelations happen. Are you moving too fast? Could a few more sensory details or specific actions make the reader feel more engaged?
The Art of Subtlety: Nuance Through Showing
Showing isn’t about being overly dramatic all the time. Often, it’s about being subtle, hinting instead of stating, letting the nuances of your story emerge naturally.
The Power of the Mundane:
You don’t need a huge, emotional moment to show. Even everyday things can reveal a lot about a character. How they make coffee, clean their house, or interact with a pet can speak volumes.
Instead of saying, “She was disorganized,” show her: “Empty coffee mugs crusted with forgotten sediment littered her desk, a precarious tower of unread mail teetered by the door, and a single, lonely sock lay stranded in the middle of the living room rug.”
Unreliable Narration and Showing:
Showing becomes even more powerful when you have an unreliable narrator. The difference between what a narrator says (tells) and what their actions or observations reveal (shows) creates amazing tension and intrigue.
A character might tell the reader, “I was perfectly calm.” But then the very next line shows: “He picked at a loose thread on his cuff, peeling it back until a small, bloody patch appeared on his thumb.” That contradiction makes the character so much more complex.
The Cumulative Effect:
No single instance of showing is going to define a character or a world. It’s the combined effect of hundreds of small, precise details that build a rich, believable tapestry. Every word you choose, every gesture you observe, every evocative sound you mention – it all adds up, layer by layer, deepening the reader’s connection.
Revision is Key: Showing in the Rewrite
Very few of us get “show, don’t tell” perfectly in a first draft. When you’re first getting the story down, you’re often just telling to get the ideas out. The real magic happens during revision.
Step 1: Find the Tells
Go through your manuscript and ask yourself: “Where am I telling instead of showing?” Look for:
* Emotion words (sad, happy, angry, scared).
* Abstract concepts (evil, good, beautiful, ugly).
* Adjectives and adverbs that summarize instead of describe.
* Sentences like “John was smart.”
Step 2: Ask “How?” and “Why?”
For every telling sentence, question it:
* “How can I show this instead?”
* “What physical reactions, sensory details, or internal thoughts would convey this?”
* “What action would demonstrate this trait or emotion?”
Step 3: Get Specific
Generalities tell; specifics show. Instead of “She ate fast,” write “She shovelled the noodles into her mouth, barely chewing, her eyes darting constantly towards the clock above the cafe door.”
Step 4: Mix It Up
Don’t rely on just one way of showing. A scene might use body language, then a sensory detail, then a bit of internal thought, then an action. This keeps the writing dynamic and engaging.
Step 5: Read It Out Loud
Seriously, read your work aloud. It helps you catch clumsy phrasing, places where you’re telling too much, and where your writing just falls flat. Your ear will often tell you if a sentence is just stating facts or if it’s painting a picture.
The End Goal: An Unforgettable Experience
Mastering “show, don’t tell” isn’t about following a strict rule; it’s about becoming a better writer. It’s about realizing that storytelling is about transferring your imagination into your reader’s mind. When you show, you respect your reader’s intelligence and engage their senses, drawing them completely into your story. You create a vibrant, tangible world, filled with real characters whose emotions stay with them long after they finish the book. This deep immersion is the mark of truly powerful stories, and it starts with the deliberate, skilled choice to show, not tell. Your story isn’t just a bunch of events; it’s an experience, waiting to unfold, line by painstaking line, in your reader’s mind.