My thoughts today are all about how to make our stories come alive with dialogue that really feels real. It’s what gives our characters their voices and helps push the whole story forward. But so often, I see — and have written myself! — dialogue that just… lays there. It’s a way to get information across, sure, but it doesn’t breathe.
Writing dialogue that truly sings – the kind that feels totally authentic and has all these hidden layers – that’s a skill we practice. It comes from really observing how people talk and understanding the nuances of human interaction. It’s not just about the words. It’s about what’s left unsaid, the reasons behind what someone says, and how unique each person’s way of speaking is. I’m going to break down how I approach dialogue, offering some tips and examples so we can all elevate our writing from just plain chatter to something really memorable.
Getting to the Root of Real Dialogue: Listening, Not Just Watching
Authenticity in dialogue starts with really observing and having empathy. Think about it: our characters don’t speak in perfect sentences or deliver grand monologues that magically move the plot. They interrupt each other, they stumble, they use filler words, and their way of speaking is totally unique to who they are – their background, their education, their personality.
Listening to the World Around Us: The Secret Sauce for Good Dialogue
The first thing I do to write authentic dialogue is just listen. Really listen to how people talk in real life. I’m not trying to write down every exact word, but I’m trying to absorb the rhythms, the quirks, and all those imperfections that make human conversation so fascinating.
- Paying Attention to How People Talk: I notice how folks from different places use words, what common phrases they have, even how they shorten things. Someone from a small farming town isn’t going to sound like a tech mogul from a big city, right?
- Imagine This (Not So Real): “Greetings, fellow rural dweller! Isn’t this agricultural pursuit remarkably fulfilling?” (We’d never say that!)
- Now This (Much More Real): “Morning, Jed. Fields look good, huh? Been a long harvest, but reckon it’ll pay off.”
- Embracing the Messiness: Real conversations are messy. People pause, they repeat themselves, they correct their own grammar in the middle of a sentence, and they have those little verbal habits. When I put these subtle imperfections in, it makes the dialogue feel incredibly real.
- Imagine This (Too Perfect): “I am experiencing profound emotional distress regarding this incident.” (Who talks like that when they’re hurting?)
- Now This (Real and Raw): “God, I… I just… it hurts, you know? Like, really hurts.”
- Mixing Up Sentence Structure and Length: People don’t always use complicated sentences. Sometimes, a short, sharp comment can hit harder than a long explanation. I like to mix long sentences with quick interjections.
- Imagine This (Overly Formal): “It is imperative that we proceed with caution, as the ramifications of imprudence could prove catastrophic for our endeavors.”
- Now This (Direct and Punchy): “Careful. One wrong move, and we’re done for.”
Character Voice: The Unique Fingerprint of How Someone Talks
Every single character in my story needs their own distinct voice. It’s not just about an accent; it’s about their vocabulary, the way they typically put sentences together, how they phrase things, and even their emotional tone. A world-weary detective won’t sound like a bright-eyed newbie.
- Word Choices: Does my character use formal words or slang? Are they someone who loves elaborate language, or do they struggle to find the right words for complex thoughts?
- For a Child: “Mommy, the big doggie made a woof-woof sound right at me!”
- For a Professor: “The canine’s vocalization, whilst startling, presented no genuine threat.” (See the difference?)
- Rhythm and How Fast They Speak: Some characters talk quickly, others slowly. Some take long pauses, while others have rapid-fire exchanges.
- A Nervous Character: “Uh, so, um, about that… I mean, are we… is it… yeah?”
- A Confident Character: “This is the plan. No deviations. Any questions?”
- Little Quirks and Habits: Does a character always start sentences with “Look,” or “Honestly,”? Do they have a recurring catchphrase? These small touches can really bring a voice to life.
- “See, the thing is, you gotta roll with the punches.”
- “Bless your heart, you tried.”
The Magic of Subtext: What’s Said Without Saying It
Subtext is the quiet superpower of truly impactful dialogue. It’s the hidden meaning, the unspoken agenda, the underlying emotions that tell us what a character says versus what they really mean. When I write, I try to weave in these layers of subtext, turning simple conversations into rich tapestries of human drama.
The Unspoken Conversation: What Lies Beneath the Words
Real human communication is rarely literal. We often say one thing and mean another, whether it’s out of politeness, fear, a desire to manipulate, or just to avoid a fight. This space between what’s said and what’s intended is where subtext truly shines.
- Showing Character by What They Don’t Say: What a character doesn’t say can be just as powerful as what they do. Are they avoiding a topic, dodging a question, or simply not ready to face an uncomfortable truth?
- Scenario: A wife asks her husband about his late night.
- The Wife: “You’re home late.”
- The Husband: “Yeah, traffic was rough.” (This really means: I don’t want to tell you where I really was, or I’m too tired to argue.)
- That missing detail (where he was) creates tension and makes us wonder.
- Hidden Reasons and Motivations: Characters often speak with a secret goal, trying to persuade, manipulate, or get information without directly saying what they want.
- Scenario: A salesperson talking to a customer who’s not sure what to do.
- Salesperson: “You know, this model is quite popular. We only have a few left.” (What they’re really saying: Buy it now before you lose the chance; feel the pressure.)
- The words are about availability, but the subtext is about urgency and pressure.
- Underlying Emotions: Anger, fear, sadness, resentment – these feelings often come out through specific words, a sharp tone (which I imply through context or how I describe the dialogue), or indirect statements, rather than just saying “I’m angry.”
- Scenario: Two siblings arguing.
- Sibling 1 (angrily): “Fine. Whatever. Just do what you want.” (This means: I’m furious, but I don’t want to make this worse verbally right now, even though my tone says it’s already bad.)
Dialogue Tags and Action Beats: Illuminating the Subtext
While the words themselves carry subtext, the little phrases like “he said” and “she said,” along with descriptions of actions, are really important for showing that hidden meaning without having to spell out emotions. I try to avoid just using “he said” when a more descriptive tag or an action can add so much more.
- Dialogue Tags with Feeling: Instead of “he said sadly,” I think about how sadness might sound.
- Better Example: “I don’t know,” he whispered, his voice thin. (Whispering shows a struggle, a quiet despair.)
- Another Good Example: “It’s over,” she croaked, tears evident in her voice. (Croaked implies a strained, choked sound.)
- Actions as Clues to Subtext: What a character physically does while speaking often reveals their true feelings or intentions. This is where “show, don’t tell” really shines when it comes to dialogue.
- Instead of: “I’m not angry,” he said angrily. (That’s telling, not showing.)
- Try This: “I’m not angry.” He clenched his jaw, his knuckles white on the table. (The action of clenching contradicts the statement, showing suppressed rage.)
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Instead of: “I agree,” she said hesitantly.
- Try This: “I agree.” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt, avoiding his gaze. (The fiddling and avoiding eye contact suggest discomfort or that she’s not being entirely truthful, despite saying she agrees.)
Conflict and Tension Through Subtext
Dialogue without conflict often feels flat. Subtext allows for really sophisticated, subtle conflict that isn’t just characters yelling at each other. It’s about clashing wills, unexpressed grievances, and power dynamics.
- Passive Aggression: A character can show hostility or resentment through polite but subtly hurtful comments, leaving the other person feeling uncomfortable without knowing exactly why.
- Example: “Oh, you wore that? How… brave.” (The “brave” is loaded, implying the outfit isn’t good.)
- Testing Boundaries: Characters might use seemingly innocent questions or statements to see how far they can push someone or figure out how they truly feel.
- Example: “Are you sure you want to handle this yourself? It looks quite complicated.” (The hidden message: I don’t think you’re capable, and I’m offering to take over.)
- Power Dynamics: Who dominates the conversation? Who interrupts? Who decides what they talk about? These subtle power plays are often revealed through subtext.
- Boss to Employee: “I value your input, naturally, but the final decision is mine.” (The “naturally” dismisses the input even as they say they value it.)
Shaping Dynamic Dialogue: Pacing and Purpose
Beyond individual lines, the overall structure and flow of dialogue are essential for keeping readers engaged and moving the story along. Dialogue should never feel like a series of disconnected statements; it should have a natural rhythm, like a real conversation.
Pacing the Exchange: The Rhythm of Conversation
The speed and density of dialogue really impact how the reader experiences it. Fast, clipped dialogue makes for tension and urgency, while slower, more thoughtful conversations allow for deeper reflection.
- Short, Sharp Exchanges: These are great for moments of high tension, arguments, or quick, witty banter. I try to keep dialogue tags to a minimum here; the rapid back-and-forth should carry the energy.
- “He’s coming.”
- “Now?”
- “Five minutes. Maybe less.”
- “Get ready.”
- Longer Speeches and Monologues (Use Them Wisely): While generally, I try to avoid these, sometimes a well-placed monologue can reveal a lot about a character, deliver important information, or create a powerful emotional moment. They have to be earned and genuinely captivating.
- I always make sure the monologue either shows us more about the character, moves the plot forward, or builds tension, instead of just delivering facts.
- I also try to break up long speeches with action beats or other characters’ reactions to keep it dynamic.
- Interruptions and Overlap: Realistic conversations are full of interruptions. People jump in, finish sentences, or talk over each other, especially when emotions are running high. This makes it feel incredibly authentic and urgent.
- “I just want to say–“
- “No! Don’t you dare. Not after what you–“
- “Let me finish!”
Dialogue as a Story Engine: Moving the Plot and Sharing Information
Dialogue isn’t just decoration; it’s a crucial tool for pushing the story forward. Every line should serve a purpose, even if that purpose is subtle.
- Moving the Plot Directly: Characters can make decisions, reveal secrets, suggest actions, or give commands that directly change the story’s direction.
- “We have to go back for it. There’s no other way.” (This statement directly leads to the next plot point.)
- Revealing Backstory and Exposition (Subtly): I try to avoid “information dumps.” Instead, I weave necessary backstory into natural conversation, letting characters bring up past events as they relate to what’s happening now.
- A Clunky Info-Dump: “As you know, Bob, our parents died ten years ago in the Great Flood, which led to us inheriting this crumbling estate.” (No one talks like that to someone who already knows!)
- More Authentic (Integrated): “Ten years, Bob. Ten years since the flood took Mom and Dad, and this old house still feels just as empty.” (The information about the flood and inheritance is revealed naturally through shared experience and emotional reflection.)
- Building Relationships and Conflicts: Dialogue is the main way characters interact and define their relationships. Through their words, or even their silence, we understand the bonds, the rivalries, and how the relationships are changing.
- A character saying “You always do this, don’t you?” shows a long-standing pattern in their relationship.
Refining and Polishing: The Iterative Process
Writing amazing dialogue rarely happens perfectly on the first try. It’s a process of writing, analyzing, cutting, and polishing – over and over again.
Reading Aloud and Recording: The True Test
The best way I’ve found to catch awkward phrasing, clunky rhythms, or forced information is to hear my dialogue out loud.
- Reading It Aloud: Does it sound stiff? Does it flow naturally? Do my characters sound distinct? I quickly spot lines that sound “written” instead of spoken.
- Recording Myself: Listening back with a critical ear can be incredibly eye-opening. I pay attention to the pacing, emphasis, and whether the emotional beats really land.
Cut, Condense, Clarify: The Editor’s Touch
Often, less is more. Unnecessary words and repetitive exchanges weaken the power of good dialogue.
- Eliminate Redundancy: Do two characters repeat the same information? Can a shorter phrase achieve the same effect?
- Example (Repetitive): “Yes, I agree with your statement that the situation is undeniably dire and presents significant challenges.”
- Example (Concise): “Yes, it’s dire. Very dire.”
- Trim Filler Words (Carefully): While natural dialogue has some “um” and “uh,” too much can bore the reader. I use them sparingly, only for specific character traits or moments of hesitation.
- I only include filler if it helps show who the character is (e.g., someone who is always nervous or lacks confidence).
- Remove On-the-Nose Exposition: If a character is saying something the reader already knows or could easily guess, I cut it. Dialogue should reveal, not just repeat.
- I avoid having characters tell each other things they would realistically already know, just for the sake of telling the reader.
Using Silence: The Powerful Pause
Just like a musician understands the importance of rest notes, I know the power of silence. A pause can escalate tension, show a character’s shock, or symbolize a breakdown in communication.
- Uncomfortable Silences: These really highlight tension, unresolved conflict, or difficult truths.
- He waited for her to answer. She just looked at him, her lips pressed shut. The silence stretched, thick and suffocating.
- Reflective Pauses: These allow characters (and us, the readers) a moment to process information or emotion.
- “I never thought you’d do it.” He paused, studying her face. “But you did.”
- Dramatic Interruptions: A sudden break in dialogue can heighten drama or shift the focus.
In Conclusion: The Symphony of Spoken Words
Dialogue that sings isn’t accidental; it comes from careful observation, a deep understanding of our characters, and mastering the subtle art of subtext. By really listening to the rhythms of human speech, creating distinct voices for each character, and layering conversations with hidden meanings, we can transform simple words into a vibrant, living symphony. Our characters will leap off the page, their conflicts will feel more real, and our stories will pulse with an authenticity that truly captivates. I encourage you to embrace the imperfections, celebrate individuality, and remember that the most powerful conversations often happen in the quiet spaces between the lines. Write with intention, listen closely, and then watch your dialogue transform from just functional words into unforgettable art.